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How can I potty train a 6 year old?

He would rather go and hide in another room then use the bathroom. I've caught him standing 3 ft from the toilet and instead of going he stands there and cross' his legs to not pee his pants. He doesn't like to poop in the bathroom either, so he holds til he can't hold it anymore and then usually ends up doin it in his underwear. He's gotten to the point where he holds it so long he gets constipated or its so large he has a hard time going. i'm about ready to put him back into diapers, because i'm tired of cleaning underwear. He's 6 years old. Shouldn't he be beyond all this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (29)
  • A 6 year old that is not potty trained is something to be concerned about. You really should have him checked out by his ped because this is not normal unless he has developmental delays.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:45 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Yeah that's not normal. Unless there is something wrong with them, children get full control of their bladder at 5. There are a few reasons why he could be doing it. Is he left alone with anybody? Sometimes children (especially boys) will wet or poop themselves as a result of abuse. Getting him into counseling and taking him to his pediatrician will help you assess the cause. He could also be doing it for attention. If there have been any recent changes (new baby, divorce, etc.)he could be expressing his stress in that way. If you take him to the doc and the doc says he's fine and just being lazy, let him sit in his mess for a little bit and see if he prefers that over going on the toilet. I hope you get to the root of this and that it gets resolved. Good luck.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 5:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • There are bigger issues here. This is very abnormal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • behaviors like that are usually the result of abuse... my ds who has not wet the bed since he was 2 1/2, or had an "accident" since he was 2, wets himself every time he sees his father.

    there is an underlying issue, and that sort of behavior is a SCREAM for help.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Aww poor little guy :( Don't be mad at him. There is obviously something going on that is messing with his head. I agree doctor/counsellor but do doctor first and see what they say.


    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 6:44 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • He's not abused, he didnt just start this, this has been going on since we started potty training.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Does he use the bathroom at school? Sometimes kids have an aversion to using the bathroom. Usually when they are in a school setting around other kids who use the bathroom they start to do the same. I agree that you should seek profession help at this point.


    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 7:42 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • If he's not ready why push the matter? Is there a reason why he can't use the diapers? Maybe he's feeling like he's being pushed into it and doesn't want to do it because he's being pushed.
    Can't be too much help here- most kids that I had a hand in this thought the idea of the bathroom was cool and wanted to do what everyone else did.

    Answer by LadyAronna at 8:15 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • i still think you should be talking to his doctor. even if he has never been fully potty trained, this does not sound right by 6 years old! I just can't imagine. and honestly, i don't know that just because you say he has been doing this since he started potty training, neccessarily means that he wasn't abused. I am not saying that he was, but going to a doctor would be my first step. I may even try the counseling. How does he get by at school? I have never heard of a kindergartener not being at the very least potty trained during the day. I know my nephew still wears pull ups at night - not sure why he still needs to, but he has no problems during the day.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:55 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I agree. Talk with his doctor. This isn't right. He's in school now and that's not acceptable behavior for school.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

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