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do you think he cheated?

last march my husband saw an old friend of his, a girl, that he used to like before he met me. he met with her and another friend with out me. he said he didn't think i'd want to go cause i don't know her or his other friend, and he thought i'd be jealous cause he used to like her. i said i wanted to go with him to meet her,but he said he was only gonna be gone an hour. he left at 10:30pm and didn't get home till after 1:30 am. said he lost track of time. i had to find out on my own about them going to the movies together. he lied and said he was going alone , but i found two tickets in his pocket, and when i asked him about it he said he lied cause he didn't want me to get mad or jealous. we've been together for 7 years and he's never given any reason not to trust him, but after this happened i don't know what to think. he doesn't know it but i looked through his myspace messages(he doesn't know i know his password) and i saw

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Op- Messages between him and her. She was saying that she was moving back here( she was only visiting when he saw her) and she asked if it would be weird for him with her moving back here. And he replied back, ‘no it won’t be weird, I’ve learned a lot and I don’t want to be that guy’. This makes me think something happened between them. I asked him if anything happened and he said nothing did, but reading that makes me wonder. I mean, why would it be weird for him if she moved here if nothing happened between them? I’ve messaged her on facebook and asked her about it, and she claims she never knew he liked her and that she only liked him as a friend, or like a brother. but if she never liked him, why did he feel like he needed to lie to me about seeing her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • You posted this same story a long time ago. Surely you have figured it all out by now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • hmm, i dunno but i know my husband would've wanted me to come along..but then again i dont think he wouldve even wanted to go see another girl whom he used to like. he definitly wouldnt have refused to let me go so in my opinion i think maybe something did happen.if things were innocent he wouldnt have lied about the movies.that kinda sounds as if he went out on a date with her. espeacially since he left you at home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • It is definitely looking that way. Let him dig himself a little deeper before you confront him on it. Make him think you've let it go and your guard is down. If your gut is telling you he has cheated, chances are that's what happened, but be as good to him as you have been, and wait til you catch him red handed. He's gonna get comfortable and think he's slick, and that's gonna be when he screws up and you catch him. That way when you confront him, there won't be any way for him to weasel his way out of it and he'll feel even worse.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 6:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I think you made a mistaake contacting her. she will not tell you the truth. Just like your DH did not tell the truth. Why do you want to know if he had sex with her? Are you planning on leaving him if he did have sex with her? If you do not plan to leave, drop the issue and leave it alone. JMO

    Answer by louise2 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • My thing is that if there's any doubt in your mind go with it. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. The fact that he lied would get me concerned. If it was innocent as he says, then there's no reason for him to lie. So my question to him would be "WHAT IS GOING ON THAT YOU NEED TO LIE ABOUT IT TO ME?"

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Jennifer Gray January 3 at 10:30pm
    Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very attracted to a particular man.
    At first, he was just another attractive man… but the more she got to know him, the more she began to feel attracted to him… and the more time she spent with him, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for him.
    But, there was one problem.
    As her emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, she also grew more and more insecure. Because she wasn't sure he felt the same way toward her. There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from him… and once, he even held her hand for a long time while she talked about an emotional issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Continued...
    But, something was wrong with the picture.
    He just wasn’t acting like a man that was “falling in love”. He was acting like a friend.
    After spending many days and nights obsessing over this man, the woman finally arrived at the conclusion that, if he only knew how SHE FELT, he would feel the same way.
    So, she made a bold move. She TOLD HIM how she felt. And they got married and started a family. He later on became more distance and kept bring up this girl from the past. All he thought about was her and only her. This women was so humiliated for putting her all into the marriage. Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?
    She had to make sure that he knew just how much she wanted to be with him… so, she took a big step...- She bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a long, long letter… again confessing her feelings.

    Answer by Chize at 7:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • op- i know i posted this before, but it is still really bothering me so i wanted new opinions about it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • how many times are you going to post this damn story? JUST LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND ALREADY. what he did was just plain wrong and disrespectful. and yes its something a cheater would do and I think he cheated.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:07 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

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