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I can't get my mom to stop buying things for me!!

I know, it sounds like a great problem to have, right? She buys things off of Craigslist all the time. Some weeks she buys 3 or 4 things. Ususally it is furniture. I live in a small house with my husband and our two little boys.
If I turn down the things she buys she gets really offended and goes on and on about what a great deal it was and how she went to a lot of trouble to get it for me. Basically sending me on a guilt trip to take it. Than she turns around and tells everyone how I am ungreatful because I wasn't appreciative, or I wasn't appreciative enough. My sisters have told me some of the mean things she has said about me and my husband. I am the only grown child who lives close to my parents.
We just don't have enough room for many of the things she buys us. Also she will sometimes get cheap, ugly things that don't fit with our house at all. When she visits she looks for the things she bought us.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Tell her if she doesn't stop buying you things you're just gonna donate all of it to your local homeless shelter.

    I have a similar problem with my MIL. She wants to buy things for her grandchildren. ...so i ask her, "That sounds great but ...where would i put it?" ....that usually ends it.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:30 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • OutstandingLove
    I have done that several times. And I have really donated the stuff she has given us to. It hasn't slowed her down one bit. She does get VERY offended and calls any friend or relative who will listen to her and complains about how I am a big brat. I also give her hints all the time about how our little house is packed so tight it is bursting at the seams. When she tells me about this great new thing she found I almost always reply that we have no where to put it. That doesn't stop her either. She just shows up at our door a few days later with the nw item and finds a place for it to fit in our house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • No offense, but your mom sounds immature. She may have some sort of shopping disorder. Like impulsive shopping, or having to spend to feel complete. Maybe she needs a hobby or to volunteer or something like that. It sounds like she has a lot of time and money to waste on other people. It would be nice if she put it to good use.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I agree with anon.
    maybe she does have some kind of shopping disorder. Maybe you should come to her out of concern. tell her that her behavior worries you. That it seems like she just can't resist the urge to purchase things despite the fact that you have told her repeatedly that you don't need them. And you see that as an impulsive shopping problem.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:48 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • My kids told me to stop and I stopped. Ask her to buy you a bigger house to put it all in if she's going to continue
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:50 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Buy her something big and ugly that you know she'll absolutely hate and expect it to be out next time you visit, maybe she'll get the picture...then again, maybe not~!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Next time she shows up with something, refuse to take it. She sounds like she might have a shopping addiction or something like that. I'm also worried about her financial well being...how old is she?

    She can get offended all she wants but she is creating MORE work for you by bringing you all this crap you don't want! Tell her to buy stuff for the local shelter or something. YOU won't be taking any more items from her. Don't let her bring anything inside. If she won't return it to her car, put it out there for her, or out by the curb for pick up.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:04 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I'm also worried about her financial well being...how old is she?


    Oh she is just fine. She stays home. My dad makes a large 6 figure income and she spends it all. It has caused marital problems for them. I agree that she probably has a shopping disorder. I don't know how to help her though if she isn't willing to even admit it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Ahh I see. What a waste!
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Tell you that you appreciate all that she does, and the money would be better spent in your children's college fund.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:40 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

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