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So, because he works he can do no wrong???

I have been married for almost 5 years to my husband. We have 3 beautiful daughters and our relationship has been anything but normal. The first few years I did try my hardest to make him happy, but I never exceeded his standards of the 'perfect girlfriend'. He would be ashamed to take me anywhere in public and often times left me at home while he went out and partied. He cheated on me during 2 of my pregnancies and got another woman pregnant. We went to marriage counseling and things still did not improve. A few months back I did end up confiding in another man about my bad relationship, which I believe is called 'emotional infidelity'. I understand it was completely wrong of me but since that happened I get my family on my case, his family on my back along with him. When he was out cheating, everybody overlooked it and told me to deal with it. Why is it fair for him to do whatever he wants and I just have to deal with it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You poor thing. marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership; it sound like you are maid, nanny and concubine. Please get back in counseling; go yourself if he won't go.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:40 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • You do realize your husband is a total jerk right? YOU WORK TOO AS A SAHM. He doesn't deserve a nice wife like you. What he does deserve is a scorching case of hemmorroids. Do what you need to to take care of yourself and your kids and kick this jackass to the curb.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I am curious as to why you told everyone about your emotinal affair. You made it everyone's buisness. My advice - dump the loser.
    Doodlesrevenge

    Answer by Doodlesrevenge at 9:58 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I never told anybody about it, he found out and ran to my family telling them everything. My parents got on my case along with his.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • hmmm good question however you made the choice to stay with him and have MORE kids after he was cheating/etc on you! His family and your family didn't support you then ( why would they now?)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • It's not fair and anyone who told you that is crazy. All relationships are the equal responsibility of both parties. If you think he's going to change, you're wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • So many people know men are not monogamous creatures and accept their bad behavior. However, women are indeed held to a higher standard. I say crap on that. If he was a real man taking care of your needs you wouldn't have turned to another man. It's all his fault imho. Tell family to get over themselves or put the blame where it should be, on him. It's none of their business anyway. Remind them of what he did every time you write that check for child support for his mistress's child. That money cheats your children out of a trip to Disneyworld or possibly out of a college education. What you did isn't cheating them out of anything.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:25 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • You married a dirt bag. Either your family doesn't think you can do better than a dirt bag, or they are a bunch of dirt bags. Why the heck did you stay with him when he left you behind to go partying? Just exactly how bad is your self esteem?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I wonder about the use of the word 'fair' in this context...

    Stay or don't stay, as you choose. If you are okay with philadering, you're okay with it -- no one can make you be okay with it anymore than anyone can make you not okay with it. That's up to you.

    But what's 'fair' got to do with it? Your values are yours --they are what you choose, and you can see what you chose based on what you actually live. If you are living counter to your values, that's your problem to fix --no one else's. No one else's attitude or opinion enters into it. In fact, no one else's values enter into it. Not even your husband's.

    Find your own core, and you'll find you are less moved by the opinions of others. Stand strong for what you really believe, and leave the 'fair' on the fairgrounds.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:57 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • No one in the world can tell you what to do & no one in te world need t tell you so. So what if you are telling people about the situation. You are trying to relieve yourself of how you feel. i am sorry& Iam not Sorry because people always want to critizise you no matter what so what do your own deal right or wrong. God Bless you.
    Jodie269

    Answer by Jodie269 at 8:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

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