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Who was right hubby or me?

Since a certain football team was in the playoffs my hubby started hanging with his friend at a restaurant/bar.No prob. I get a phone call from my bro inviitng us for dinner. I made plans to go there with my son . Fastforward 2 hours later his friend tells my hubby the wives are invited. I said no way cuz his wife gossips and yells too much and declined. My hubby went anyway . I told him I don't like the way this couple gets their married friend's hubby to flirt and talk to other women and waitresses. He went off the handle and said I am the most negative person he knows and I said nice to talk in front of your son that way about me. He ansers he knows you are like that. I don't like this buddy buddy system with these fair weather firends. What can I say or do to make him think I am a positive person? By the way I have some friends of my own but I don't like to hang out in bars, Just so been there done that... Advice??


Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Marriage is about compromise. Sometimes we're put in a position that we're not thrilled with but at least we're with dh. You can let him go alone and risk him finding someone there who likes his friends and wants to be with him. It's up to you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:21 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • my husband does the same thing if i say anything about his friends. i just keep my opinions to myself

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Pick on his friends and your picking on him... Try to trust your husband and try to find some good in these friends.. Doesn't mean you have to hang out with them every night just try to be supportive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • In a way he's right... you are negative because you're seeing the bad in them (granted that may be all you CAN see).
    To be positive you would say 'okay I'll go and I'll find someone nice to talk to, enjoy myself and it'll be all good".
    As for getting their friends to flirt... come on, if he flirts, it's because HE flirts... no one is forcing him to do it... granted he may not normally do it but we act different around each of our friends. I'm funnier with some, more flirty with some, and more serious with others... it's all in the individual relationships.
    If you dont' want to go, just say "I don't want to go, I've made other plans, have fun honey" instead of telling him you don't want to go because you don't like his friends or their wives.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:38 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Yeah he's a grown man and responsible for his conduct no matter where he is at or who he is with. I think that there's an underlying problem that needs to be addressed and resolved. Try couples counseling. Good luck.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 10:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • How 'bout: neither of you.

    You're being judgmental of his friend's wife, which is not loving or supportive or accepting or respectful, or a whole lot of other values you may like to think of yourself as living.

    Dh is being critical and judgmental of your attitude and behaviour, which is also not loving or supportive or accepting or respectful or a whole lot of other values he may like to think he lives.

    In the future, when you wish to decline an invitation that you do not wish to accept, the words you could use instead would be 'no thanks, I've made other plans, but thanks for thinking of me.' No one needs to hear the critical analysis you have of 'those people' --frankly, not even you. Being nasty to people who aren't around to defend themselves (or punch you out) isn't upstanding behaviour that will make you feel good about yourself.

    You can't write dh's lines for him, so I'll leave off what he could say instead.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:42 AM on Jan. 25, 2010