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Ex is with another woman, wanting me to go with him and my kids, he was an abusive man

he wants to take my kids out for a day and wants me to go with him, this rings alarm bells, to me and ive told him you can take the kids, but im not going, he tells me im being selfish, please tell me if im being melodramatic?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • i dont see anything wromng with it, im sure the ids would love it to spend time with boht of u.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 10:23 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I wouldn't go with. That's just weird. Doesn't he realize how that might make his gf feel? That's just a really odd request to me.
    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 10:23 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I don't understand why it rings alarm bells.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • if it were in a public place, maybe, but it seems fishy that HE...wants you there. DON'T EVER FEEL pressured to do something for someone that had a total lack of respect and love for you while you were together....YOU DON'T OWE HIM ANYTHING. And don't be guilted by him...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Im not sure why he would want you to go if he is with another woman. Maybe he just wants to apologize. If my ex abusive husband invite dme somewhere there is no way I would go. Maybe he wants you to go because you have said the kids cant be with him alone? If thats the case you could have a meeting in a well public lots of people kind of place and dont drive there to or from with him.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:25 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • He has two children with this woman they live together, he was physically/verbally/emotionally abusive need i say more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I would go for the sake of the kids but have a back up plan if you are starting to feel "unsafe". I know how uncomfortable it is to be around an abusive ex but the thing is that when you have kids in common there's going to be a point when you have to be around eachother! If you can let it go for the time that you have to be in the same environment you will be able to see that you are no longer the weak victim he made you. I would suggest if you do this not to talk about or bring up subjects that could cause him to react negatively, but then again maybe he has gotten therapy and is a completely different man!? Therapy does work in an abuser as long as they are willing to accept and face the actions they chose to do instead of walking away when it was getting their blood boiling; if you will. GL and BW. You can do this and stay strong!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 10:30 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I've been in an abusive relationship.....there's no way I'd go anywhere with my x!! I try to avoid him as much as possible!
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 10:39 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Been there done that just whatever u decide be safe.
    officerdouglas

    Answer by officerdouglas at 10:41 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I am wondering if he sees your kids on a regualr basis? I am all about the alarm bells, but if he sees them, could you meet him with the kids in a public place? Do you think he needs to talk about something? If he has no custody rights and hasn't seen your kids, I would just NOT do it? Has he ever abused your children? I agree somethings up, and I would want to know, but like I said meet him ONLY in a public place and do not leave with him under any circumstance! I kind of have a strange feeling he wants you back or something! Good luck MOMMY!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

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