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I don't want to move on.

My husband of 6 years and I divorced 5 months ago. He has moved on, is dating, going out. It was his choice to divorce, not mine. We had been unhappy for over a year now, but I wanted to stick it out and get through this together, he didn't.
I know he is my soulmate, I love him so much.
I understand it's his choice to go out and I respect it, but I don't want that for myself.
He says he "feels sorry" for me sitting home alone all the time, I don't want his pity. But I have no desire to date. I am happy being Mom and that's all! I am not sitting here obsessing about him or thinking about him. I do miss him and hope we can work things out on day, but I am ok being alone too.
Is it ok to not want to "move on" and date?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Aw hun I think that's totally normal. It's only been 5 months you have to give yourself time to heal from this. You can do it!

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 12:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I feel the same way but no answer maybe somebody can us. It hurts worse when u still in love with them.

    Answer by officerdouglas at 12:16 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I agree give your self time but dont sit there making your self move down saying well hopefully one day. TRUST me you will be more misrible doing that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Give yourself some time to heal, but definately move on! It's fun to get back out there and explore your options. Maybe you could even find a super wealthy guy! LOL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Yes, it's only been 5 months and it was a person that you truly love. Sounds like you are still in the shock of it all and may be denying yourself the truth, that he may not want to come back. Please don't take that the wrong way. You are perfectly right in being happy the way you are and being without the complications of putting yourself out there dating. Enjoy this time to just be you and maybe discover that even though you love him, it may just not be what you need. I mean, really, do you honestly want someone who's willing to up and walk away when things are tough? Try to keep your distance from him or at least your conversations brief, in order to help yourself through it. He doesn't need to know what you're doing nor you him. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Just give yourself the time you need- but please don't let the idea of 'he's my soulmate' hold you back from having a new life. I hear that all the time.
    Maybe if you just joined a club or the like- get out and have some fun and not limit yourself. I think the rest will happen in time.
    Best to you-

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Please do not get offended, I am trying to be very honest here: ( I do mean well)

    First of all, DO NOT TELL HIM YOUR BUSINESS. What does he care that you have not moved on? He does not. Obviously, he is already dating. That is a hint, take it Honey.

    You can GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE, and do not have to date until you are READY.

    What would do is hang out with family, friends. Have fun, join clubs, travel,etc.

    See a counselor if you do not fell better soon. Or, talk to a church counselor,priest, etc.

    Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • You're going thru the grieving process... it's normal and it's healthy to give yourself time to emotionally heal before venturing out and starting something new. Plus it's easier for the kid/s if there's a parent that is spending time with them while they're going thru the transition too.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:40 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I think this will be the situation reversed with me and my husband after we divorce.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • There is no official time line for when you should go out dating. Do what makes you happy and if that means for now you are happy being mom and not dating, then more power to you. After my last divorce I spent a lot of time with friends, not dating. I enjoyed going out with them and not having to deal with a man or the whole dating scene or anything. Had some great times with my friends, met a new man when I wasn't even looking for it, and we are now happily married. My mother on the other hand went through 4 divorces and after the last one, she never dated again. Her life was fulfilled with us four kids and her friends, and that's what made her happy. DO KEEP YOURSELF BUSY, do things with your kids, with your family, with your friends - it does not have to be about dating right now, or even later.

    Answer by TarLion at 3:58 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

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