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DH's wedding invite from past marriage

We recently married and moved into our house together. We have lots of boxes to unpack and his box of old stuff from the past is on our bedroom floor awaiting a place to put them away. I looked in the box this morning and found an old framed family picture of him, ex and kids PLUS his framed wedding invite. It made me feel sad sort of. Like why does he keep it. If his ex wife didn't want it, why does he (the invite). His marriage ended badly when she left him for another man. So I know he feels betrayed and that his vows meant nothing. He threw away his wedding ring - but I wonder why he would keep this. Any other women have a similar issue? How should I react?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • maybe he just wants to keep it in case his kids want to see it sometime- it happens.
    If he threw out the wedding ring I wouldn't worry about it.

    Answer by LadyAronna at 12:46 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I can understand keeping the picture if his children are in it. Talk to him about the invitation. Maybe he forgot it was in there. It's obvious that it meant a lot for him to frame it. You should feel lucky that he holds marriage to be special enough to frame the invite. Sometimes when people get hurt after marriage, they avoid it altogether. You are obviously special to him for him to take that leap of faith with you and make himself vulnerable again. I wouldn't be worried about it if I were you hun. Good luck.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:50 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Even though its over with his ex, they did share a life, vows and kids so those things probably do still have some sentimental value to him. I was married once before and I still have our wedding album and toasting glasses. Its not that I still love or want to be with my ex, he was just such a huge part of my life for so long that I wanted to keep those things. I dont keep them with my other keepsakes or in view of anyone. I dont really even look at them. They mostly sit in a back closet. I just havent brought myself to throw them out.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 12:51 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • It's part of his life- good or bad. Put it away and accept your husband's past is just that: his past.

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 12:53 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • MY dh has a box well a very small box that has some pictures his wedding band and other momentos from being overseas during desert shield/storm. He never looks in it and it doesnt bother me. Yes its is his past but it is also what made him who he is so if he wants to keep pics of his ex wife i dont care honestly.

    I had a similar box of an ex bf for a long time but i tossed the whole thing letters and all about 5 years ago, my memories were a littl more painful then my Dh's of his ex and for me it was a freeing experience to throw it all away.

    The difference is you Dh has kids so yes i would expect he would keep those things for his children, my mom did and so did my dad. once i was out on my own they each gave me the stuff they had held onto, i have wedding photos high school photos and all types of cool things they saved from their relationship.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I found a VHS of my DH's wedding to his ex and I just asked him about it. He said he forgot about it (it was unmarked and with a bunch of old tapes). He felt so bad that it was still in existence and threw it out immediately. I would just ask your DH about it. It was probably just an oversight.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 12:55 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • probably for the kids.

    my Mom gives me a lot of the stuff from her and my father's wedding/life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Maybe he kept it because his vows meant something to him even if they didn't to her?
    Maybe he is saving it for his children? Maybe he forgot about it? Maybe he just doesn't know what to do about it but don't you dare throw it away no matter how bad you may want to. His marriage brought him his children and it is a part of his past and at one time he did love her enough to promise her forever.
    Some men are sentimental too...

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Honey, pick the things to get upset about wisely. I would not worry, there are more important to worry about.

    He had a past marriage and kids, that will never change. He loves his kids, that is a good thing. The ex-wife is part of the present because of the kids. The marriage is the PAST. Let it go. Really.

    The invite is just the PAST. Move on, let it go.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • hell my mom put all the pics and stuff of my real dad in my storage. she didnt want my step dad to see it. so most likely its for his kids

    Answer by bmdred at 1:38 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

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