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should i let my son(age 2) go see his father before he leaves? no real names used

my sons father adam will be leaving for basic training in a week he has not seen or spoken to our 27mo old son since nov 18th he has only spent 4 hours if that much with him since sept. i'm afraid of that if i let him see his father that he will start missing him again part of me thinks that i should just tell adam that if he cant spear more than 2 hour to see his son then he wont see him but everyone around me thinks that it will be best for him to see adam
even though adam doesnt seem to care about him he didnt call or visit on xmas he even missed our sons 2nd bday party back in nov
i just dont know what to do


Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Does the father want to see him? If he does, then I'd let him. Your son doesn't know that this man is his bio Daddy so I doubt it's going to upset him too much.
    Later on when your son says "Mom, did Dad ever want to see me or try to see me and you wouldn't let him?"... what do you want your answer to be? I have a friend who's son is now 10 and his father had seen him only a couple of times in the first 9 years of his life and now he has custody of him, but when the Dad asked his Dad why he never saw him, his Dad said "your Mom wouldn't let me" and it angered the kid, he wanted a relationship with a father and didn't get it. I don't think this guy ever even asked about his son period but the child believes him now, not his Mom. So my opinion is to let him see him, even if it's for a few minutes,, snap pictures so you can show your son that not only did you not stop it, you encouraged it or it could backfire later.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:08 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • If he doesn't make the effort to want to see his own son then don't make it happen. He obviously is a dead-beat loser and your son doesn't need that in his life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Why don't you call Adam and see what he would like to do and go from there. I know this is tough on you and will be tough on your little one, but if he wants to see him and he's about to leave, it could really be good for the both of them. If however, he doesn't want to see him or doesn't really give a crap either way, I'd consider not taking him. It'll be hard on your child and mean nothing to Adam anyhow. Don't listen to people pressuring you... that won't get you anywhere anyway. Listen to your gut. You know what will be what is best for you little guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • It doesn't seem like he cares if he sees his son or not. I would let it go & move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it. Your little one's well being comes first.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 5:51 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • go for it, your son will make up his own mind. does his father want to see him? then let him. you won't be the bad person who didn't let him see his daddy when there was time to do it.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:33 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • he is two so he wont get attached by seeing him one day. some men do not see their children as often as they can, that doesn't mean he doesn't care. He should be allowed to see his kid espesically if he is going to basic. he will be there 9+ weeks with little contact with anyone. i would want his last good memory before he goes to red phaze ( hell week) to be of his child . If he asks to see him , it means he does care and wants to see him. If he asks, i would let him see him. what is that harm in that.

    Answer by TaiM at 6:37 PM on Jan. 25, 2010