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How can I get my 19 year old to stop drinking and driving

My daughter has been drinking several times a week and continues to drink and drive. She is going to college and carries a full time job. She is a good girl. My brother committed suicide a little over a year ago, and that seems to have been her, "stress point." I have several talkes with her and nothing is doing the trick. She lives on her own, so it is hard for me to even stop her from drinking in the first place.

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Asked by cheri4 at 5:15 PM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (14)
  • I hope she does stop. She is probably aware of what could happen, but may not think that she will actually get caught. I wish she could realize that not only is she risking her own life, she could end up taking the lives of other people. Are you in a position to offer her a ride home from these parties? I cant believe her friends are actually letting her drive. Does she have cab money? Sadly, if even after all of your talks she doesnt stop, a DUI may be the only thing that will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Try finding video's on what happens when drinking and drive and I mean the ones with the graphics that show the whole truth about it. I can't remember it was liek 20/20 or something like that. That had some think on that once.

    Answer by Raeann11 at 5:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Does she own her car or is it registered to you?

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 5:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • You really can't. She could stop drinking but she has to want to do that and it sounds like she needs some counseling to sort out her problems. Maybe she will get caught and go to jail. Sometimes thats what it takes. Young adults just never think of the consequences of much of what they do. I say pray she doesn't have a wreck and hurt herself or worse , someone else.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 5:26 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • By allowing her to drink is not helping her through the trauma. She's not even old enough to drink legally. If nothing will stop her then report her, it could save her life. We all have reasons we could drink, but we can't allow those things to make us. She could get expelled, or arrested for hurting someone else. If you know she's drinking you can call and report her for minor consumption. She needs help before it's too late. She knows what she's doing, explaining it to her may be pointless. Just set your boundaries with her.

    Answer by Steff107 at 5:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • That's really hard. I agree with PP, report her. I know that's a hard thing to do to your kid, but if it saves her life, or the life of someone else, it's worth it. It's aweful to think of losing your daughter, but what about your daughter having to live with guilt of killing someone? The law is their to protect our kids, especially when we no longer have jurisdiction over them.

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:38 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • If you know when she's on the road after drinking, call the cops and report her. She's going to hurt someone other than herself. She should also go talk to someone about her grief over her uncle. Her behavior sounds like it is spiraling out of control.
    And remember in some states, if you are caught drinking underage on campus, you are automatically expelled and the local community college will most likely deny entry for a year.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • next time you know she's out call the cops on her, it may ruin her life for awhile but that might do the trick. or you could try to set something up with your local sheriff to have him talk with her and sit down and show her pictures of real people from your town that have died in these accidents, maybe a trip to the morgue to relay the message that this can happen to anyone. she needs some counseling too if she is drinking bc she is stressed out.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:28 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Call 911
    Take away her keys
    Don't give her money for gas
    Don't pay her insurance
    Get her in AA or rehab

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • im 19. i drink at home only and i dont go anywhere unless hubby drives. its so dumb to drink and drive. and TEXTing! i just had a young friend die in nov. he got in a head on collision with a fire truck. sad yes. but he shouldnt of been doing it. and calling the cops is fine but you dont want her to hate you. my parents have no prob with me drinking. but i dont do it to get drunk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

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