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Being grateful

Let's get to the nit and grit of this. How grateful are you when you have a miscarriage and someone says, "well, you should be grateful that you have other children or you can adopt"? How grateful are you when you've been raped and someone tells you, " you should be grateful that you're alive"? How grateful are you when your house burns down and people tell you, " you should be grateful that you have a shelter to go to"? How grateful are you when all of your family members are dead under debris and you have U.S. reporters asking if you're grateful to be alive? Who the hell are you to tell anyone that has suffered a traumatic crisis that they need to be grateful?

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legalmommy101

Asked by legalmommy101 at 9:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 7 (169 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • agreed
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:14 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • It's just a way to say find the good in any circumstances. I don't think they mean to upset anyone with what they say. Maybe it's their timing. It sounds like someone just pushed a button. Sorry if someone has upset you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I agree. But in these situations people just don't know what to say, so they say any old thing that pops out of their mouth (I know, b.c I've been one of those people). The best thing to say in any of these situations is a simple "I"m sorry.' People just feel so awkward and bad for the other person that they sort of just stammer out something stupid and it's usually one of the phrases you've said above. The worst one to me is: "It was meant to happen." Now what in the helll does that even mean? If you mean, 'it was inevitable' ok, I get that, but it was 'meant' to happen is just utter nonsense.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 9:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • This doesn't have anything to do with people not knowing what to say in a time of loss. It has to do with some of the attitudes on cafemom that people deserve what they get and "beggars can't be choosers" and they should be grateful for the "hand outs" they get.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:24 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • Yes, cafe momers are all a bunch of martyrs for the most part. If the world were really full of such people, we'd all be riding our camels or donkeys to work in bare feet. That's the feeling I get from some like "poor me, I suffer so much but I am so proud and stoic, I would never complain."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • NO what people were sayin was when you have nothing you should be happy with what you CAN get. You know all that could happen and you have nothing.
    Your house could burn down and you lose everything You could live in another country and NOT have a shelter to go to.
    The fact is that YOU DO HAVE OPTIONS HERE
    And yes beggers cant be choosers.
    If you are poor you wont turn down a meal. If you are homeless you wont turn down a meal .
    When you have nowhere to go you wont turn down a cot to sleep in.
    The problem is people like you that think things should be like the marriot 24 / 7

    No Nothing is perfect but when it is the option and resources you have YES you should be grateful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • I tell MYSELF that when something bad happens to me. I don't often offer that sentiment to others, unless I truly think it's appropriate, because sometimes people don't want to hear it. However, viewing things in that way is the way I choose to live my life. I've learned that I can either dwell on something, or I can remind myself of how things truly could always be worse, and look on the bright side. As long as I'm alive, and my son is happy and healthy,that statement, 'I should be grateful", will always hold true to me.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 9:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • "No Nothing is perfect but when it is the option and resources you have YES you should be grateful. "


    Too scared to come out of hiding, are we? You're opinion doesn't matter because you don't have the balls to say it without hiding. If you're so PROUD of your words, then don't hide.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:38 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • bow downanon31...

    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:39 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

  • wait, i'm not anon31..i was just agreeing with her...LOL!
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:40 PM on Jan. 25, 2010

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