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What would you do in this situation?

My husband and I have a roomate. She is in her fourties and a wonderful woman. She came to us last month and asked us if it would be ok for her daughter to stay with us for a few weeks while she gets back on her feet. We told her it would be fine since the daughters child is already staying here. But she (the daughter) doesn't watch her child. it's almost nine o'clock here and my roomate is gone, the little girl is awake and her mother is still in the bed. I don't mind watching the little girl but I don't feel it's my responsibility. Plus, even when her mother is awake she is on the computer and pays no attention to the child. I have talked to my roomate and she talked to her daughter. the daughter acts better when her mom is here but as soon as her mom leaves she goes back to treating me like a babysitter. What would you do in this situation. I don't want to ruin the relationship with my roomate!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Jan. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • The child lived there before the mother of the child.... so I'm guessing you all had a routine. I'm not defending the child's mother here, but I am saying if the child was living there with her grandmother, then grandma should've made sure the child's mother was awake to watch her child. It is not your responsibility.
    I'd call some sort of a meeting and explain to them that they need to depend on each other to watch the child, not you.
    Any way you go there's going to be hard feelings so you might as well step up and tell them before you get really mad and blow up. The child deserves better than that too.
    Be clear in what you expect from them from household chores to the child's needs or someone needs to move out.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:46 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Tell the mother that you're going to have to talk to the baby's mother. That's not cool.

    Answer by WatermelonNerd at 8:47 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I'd tell the daughter clearly and firmly that I'm not the babysitter and that she's expected to take care of the child while your friend is not there. It's your home. Being assertive doesn't mean you are being mean.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:48 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I would make it very clear what you expect from them or you will be taken advantage of. Are they paying rent? Inform them it doesn't cover babysitting.

    Answer by mommorgan at 8:48 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • ^^^^^^^Yes, what they said! This is not fair to you. You're kind enough to bring them into your home, you do NOT deserve to be taken advantage of like that. Lock her out of the computer when the baby is awake so that she doesn't have anything to distract her. She doesn't sound like a mature adult, so perhaps she needs to be treated like a child IMO. Good luck hun.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 8:52 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Take the child, place her on her mother's lap & inform her "If you would like to continue living here I'm gonna need you to step up & start taking responsibility for your child. It is not my child nor my responsibility to make sure she's taken care of. Get off the computer & take care of your kid" (your roommate's probably been wanting to make her take more responsibility too, after all its not her kid either!!!)

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • What would happen if you offered to keep the child and kicked the two adults out? Sounds to me like you are the only mother this child has and the other two are just hangers on. You are making a difference in the life of the child but apparently your generosity is not making a difference with the other two. They need a wake-up call about real life and responsibility. The poor child is not at fault and you are doing a wonderful thing by caring for her, but I think I would put the other two out and see what happens. Sometimes it is better to give people what they need rather than what they want. They want to mooch off of your family but they need to be forced to assume responsibility for their own lives.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:21 AM on Jan. 26, 2010