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Adopting as a form of charity

With the horrible conditions in Haiti, you see a lot of questions lately about adopting from there and other 3rd world countries as a form of charity. Do you really think this is the best way to help?
I feel like the reason why you should adopt, whether it is from the US or overseas should be first and foremost, that you want to be a parent or be a parent again. Parenting is an enormous responsibility and international adoptive parenting even more so.
IF you were already thinking of adopting, then it is fantastic. But if adoption wasnt already in your heart, I think the better way to support these poor people are monetary donations to reputable agencies.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 26, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (17)
  • I agree with this actually.
    You see alot of people talking about adoption who really havent thought it out and will never do it. It takes a lot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • IMHO, Adoption, no matter where it is from, takes an exceptionally lengthy amount of time...so I doubt, that ANYBODY adopts out of "charity'. I agree, adoption should be first and foremost...for a child whom has NO ONE to love them, and secondly...for someone whomwishes nothing more than to offer a child their heart, and all the love it holds. Unfortunately, there will be many many children whom will have lost their parent(s) in the earthquakes...this is sad. I pray that there will not be baby/child theives whom take these children and offer them up to the first 'thing' that comes along:( Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 12:05 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • You should never adopt as a form of charity. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. It takes lots of strength from within to handle everything that comes with an adoption. If I had to take a guess these children from Haiti are going to have a lot of problems down the road to handle. Nightmares from the earthquake, sense of loss because many of them won't even know if their parents are still alive or may have even seen their bodies mangled, etc. Then to be taken to another country that doesn't speak the same language, customs, religion. It won't be an easy path for anyone.

    Support a charity there with your money and if you're serious about adoption then start but be aware that these kids are going to come with a lot of baggage.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:28 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I don't see how taking a child from it's home land, or taking a countries children at a time of great tragedy is charitable.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:17 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Adoption is such a complex web of emotions that if you did ti just out of charity and expected a child to be grateful that you "helped them out" you will be a very unhappy person. I also agree, that the children of Haiti need time to find their family there and be reunited with them before they are declared orphans. These kids are displaced, but not all of them are orphans.
    7babies4me

    Answer by 7babies4me at 4:44 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I've seen many questions on here related to this idea..not in the adoption section but in other sections...questions like "Would you be willing to adopt a child from Haiti in this time of tragedy?" (that sort of thing) & when some ppl (such as myself) said "No, I don't think I could do it, I have enough to handle already", you have others calling us "selfish" & "heartless" & "uncharitable"...I was like WHY??? Because I feel like adopting a child from there or anywhere is beyond what I can handle? At least I am honest about it! SO many come on & say "Oh yes! Oh of course!" But its doubtful that if it came right down to it, they could follow though. It just sounds good to say you can, esp. if you know the chances of it happening are next to zero. Doubtful even one of the ppl who answers questions like that really intended to follow through on it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Anon 8:15 pm  "But its doubtful that if it came right down to it, they could follow though. It just sounds good to say you can, esp. if you know the chances of it happening are next to zero. Doubtful even one of the ppl who answers questions like that really intended to follow through on it."


    I agree.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • onethentwins, children are not a country's property or resources. Children are little people with NEEDS. One of those needs is parents. Others are shelter, food, medical care, clothing, education. I say wherever those needs can realistically be met is where that child should be.

    As for the OP's question, love and concern are born out of right heart. Obviously if one was moved to desire to adopt, they want and love children. I think this question is NOT born out of a right heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • No one should adopt one of these kids JUST because of the disaster. They need loving homes, not people who say, "Look what I did! I took in a disaster child"... People who use the word "charity" in a conversation regarding the adoption of one of these kids is not adopting to have a child. They are adopting to get a pat on the back and I pity the child that this person gets.
    TinaN64

    Answer by TinaN64 at 12:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I totally, 100% agree :)
    lovinallofthem

    Answer by lovinallofthem at 5:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

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