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What should I have done about this?

Our 3 year old was eating a brownie and I told her to sit at the table and eat it. Our 8 month old likes to crawl around in the kitchen, so she was in there. Well the 3 year old went into the kitchen, sat on the floor, and started waving the brownie in the 8 month old's face and teasing her with it. The 8 month old was crawling on her crying trying to reach it. I understand this is a kid being a kid, but it just broke my heart. I threw the brownie away and told her it's not nice to tease people with things that you have and they want. Do you think that was enough to teach her?

Answer Question
 
nicolemstacy

Asked by nicolemstacy at 10:09 AM on Jan. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,807 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • A time out would have been good too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I would have made her thrown it away herself, but yea I think thats enough.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I think you did just fine
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:13 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I have a son who just turned 4 and this is so familiar to me. Sometimes he is amazingly sweet to my 8 month old and sometimes he teases her like in your story. I probably would have done what you did and mostly because I've told him repeatedly to be nice and not tease her.

    You'll likely get some answers saying you were too mean and should have just spoken with her about her behavior but I think you were very clear with your daughter and hopefully she will think about this before she decides to tease her sister again. I think this kind of behavior needs to be addressed very early on so it does not continue.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:16 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • You reinforced the bully behavior. She was being unkind to the baby and you were being unkind to the 3 yr old. You taught her that being bigger means power and that being a bully is ok. You did the same thing she did, is my point. Next time, take the time to teach her how to act not how NOT to act. Show her what she should have done. Set a good example for her. How will she learn if you don't teach her what you want her to know?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:16 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • p.s. I think time out would be wrong bc at 3 she'd have no clue what just happened and why she was there. Set an example is the best way to teach them, imho.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • please dont listen to admckenzie. a 3 yr old is perfectly aware of what they are doing. she knew that it was not nice and that the baby wanted it and couldnt have it. i also believe that in her mind she could have thought that it was fun for the baby to chase the brownie. and she may have even eventually given the baby a piece. but you were there and knew what she was doing so i say that you did enough. i dont believe that a time out would have been the appropriate thing for this, it was really a small offense. so taking her brownie was good but maybe you should also tell her why that was considered being mean, she might have been just playing around
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:31 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I also agree that a 3-year-old can comprehend a time out. My 2 1/2 year old has had them since 18 months and she absolutely understands what it is and why she may earn one.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 10:44 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • oh, to answer the question, taking the brownie was a perfect consequence IMO. It is such a treat to have a brownie at that age, so to lose it for teasing will probably hit home.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 10:47 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I think you did what was best for you at that time.

    Here is how I would have handled it: I'd take it away, explain to her that mommy asked her to sit at the table with it, she did not listen so she now she needs a time out. After the time out I would have explained what she did wrong again and given the brownie to her at the table. In the explanation I would have also let her know it's not ok to tease someone like that.

    Cafe Jenn

    Answer by Cafe Jenn at 11:21 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

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