Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Relationshup problem>>>Help??

i am in the kind of realtionship where everything is my fault, i am the person who is supposed to raise our son, clean the house, make sure the bills are paid, go to work, dont hang out with friends, isolate me from my family ect. i feel so miserable but i cant bring myself to leave him...i feel so weak, i have nothing if i leave him, no car, no money to pay my credit cards...i am stuck i need advice of all kinds, lots of it...im so lost and un happy!!

Answer Question
 
sierra_baby5409

Asked by sierra_baby5409 at 10:55 AM on Jan. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You said you work. Why can't you pay your bills if you leave? He would have to pay cs. If you want to stay then read about How to Live with a Controller/Narcissist.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Have you told him? I would see if you could stay with a relative.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • How about NOT doing some of those things? How about just going on and saying "Darling Sweetums, I'm going to hang out with my friends on Friday" or "I'm going to see my family." Have you talked to him? Made your feelings clear?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • i have told, him and he told me to leave...when i attempted to leave, he siad i was not going to leave with his son and pryd im from my fingers literally...i make $70 a paycheck, not enough to pay any of my bills
    sierra_baby5409

    Answer by sierra_baby5409 at 11:00 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • YOU are WRONG you will have a live if you leave!! now you have nothing.

    Put your son first and think what would best for him? No dad is better than a BAD dad!! that should make you move out!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:06 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • You my dear are NOT weak. If you can handle all the stuff you mentioned yourself you are actually quite strong and self sufficient. So if you decide to leave him you're already over half way there. Start looking into how to get assistance and other things to help you out. Hang in there mama....
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:10 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • " JUST DO IT ", Sometimes it's easier to do what you have to, (for you that would be leaving) do and feel it later! It might sound crazy, but think about how many times you went to go,but bam-boom-bang, you stayed because your emotions started taking over and here you are unhappily as before.How do your kids feel?Don't they see you so sad, mad and wanting to be a happy mom? It sounds like you are ALLOT more capable then you are giving yourself credit for.Thats the best gift we can give our kids.Showing them ," WE CAN DO IT." Above all else we can be all we want, above all else self is loved, if not start ...today?...I have had it hard as a kid my mom took care of 3girls ALL BY HER SELF. No State. SHE JUST DID IT. Ya know I don't think she could have if she kept stopping to think about it.When we where small she did the daycare thing, when we got older she worked out of the house at 2 jobs. Bulid Connections,HUGS 2 U ! Lck 2 U
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 11:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Look into churches in your area, go to a social services(help from the state you live in) He may have rights, but so do you.Allot of states have free schooling for single moms, big time actually right now.Obamma pushed for that one.So take advantage of the things / resources U have.Any family that U have that doesn't like him.If you told them U need a place to stay to get on your feet, would they let you with your son? He( the baby daddy) can't go to work and take care of your son.If your son is with U all day now.then thats how it will stay. Go to town Hall and ask about houseing lists to get on. Salvation Army is a resorce I used some time ago, I had nothing and a couple kids of my own to take care of. They helped tremendouslly! Oh honey if U start making phone calls and setting this knew life thing in go, your possiblities are endless! U can do it trust me.TRY, and don't give up.Do some footwork & see what comes from it !
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 11:29 AM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • little by little gain your strength back! Find a good support system (counselor, relative)... go back to school, put money aside for a car, apt. etc. and then leave his ass when your "whole" again! ( or suggest counseling to him, if he's for it, give it a shot!)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • its hard.. my bd was like for a while either stand up to him and let him know how you feel or look for ways to get out. You really need to think about ur son. he is all that matter now and i know that u dont want him to see that and grow up and think that is normal. seek help n a church group that will be your best help bc you need emotional and spirtual help also
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.