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What do you do if you're boyfriend doesn't want your mom there after you give birth?

So, I'm a little stressed out, becausee my boyfriend has decided that he doesn't want my mom "sleeping" at our house for a week after the baby is born. We've been planning to have my mom come out a week before our baby is born, and stay for a week after to help. Well, now he's saying that he doesn't want her staying at our house at all the week after he's born. I don't know what to do, because I really want her there to help, but he just doesn't want her sleeping there. What do I do? I want to respect his feelings, but I also want him to respect mine, and understand that I need my mom to be there to help me with my first child.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (17)
  • tell him you wnat her there. you are going to need alot of help after the baby is born.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 4:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I keep telling him that.. But he just keeps saying that he wants that first week to be just "us". In his mind it's like this "picture perfect" week after our baby comes home. This is our first child. And I don't think he understands that it's not going to be as perfect as he thinks it is. I don't know how to get that through to him...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • i know how you feel when i had my first baby i wanted my mom there too she even took a week off but then she caught the flu. is this his first child? but my husband has a child already so he was a big help, and he took off a couple of days.

    so if he's telling you no he better stay with you and help you. because its very reassuring that someone is there to help that knows.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • well just wait by day two hes going to call your mom over to stay for months lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Yeah, this is our first child. For the both of us. I've been a nanny and have watched kids, and everyone I've talked to that's had a child, has told me that I'm going to want my mom there, and he needs to get over it. But I just don't want to cause problems. I want it to be a happy time, with as little stress as possible. I hope he'll get over it. And that he will be calling my mom over to help. lol... His brother and sister in law have told me that my mom is more than welcome to stay at their house, but it's just frustrating, because he doesn't understand that I'm going to want her help 24/7 for the time that she's able to be there. She's going to have to find a ride back and forth and all she'll be doing is sleeping at someone else's house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • yeah the first week is ahrd,. hell the frist month is ahrd. if he doenst want her there , then he better be willing to get up every 2 hrs with you. and help yoo out. i dont know iof you plan on nursing or formula feeding. if you plan to nurse then he has to get you water. make sure your comfy. and deal with diaper chances and burping the babty. and f yopu formula feed then he can either help yopu changed the baby's diaper or feed the baby. he is fantasy land.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 4:42 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I'm planning on nursing. I honestly don't think he realizes it's not going to be as perfect as he thinks. See, and my mom said that she would help with EVERYTHING. Whatever she could. I mean, she said she would cook and clean and just help. And for some reason, he thinks that we don't need all that.... I really don't feel like I'm asking too much, to have my mom stay with us, just to help when we're both too tired and too exhausted...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • i personaly would tell him that she is going to be there at that the end it sounds like you mom dosent live close by so he needs to respect that she wants time with her new gradchild also... i had my mom stay with me and my husband after our kids were born it was awsome we actually got to have more family time with her there b/c she cooked and cleaned for us so all we had to do is spend time with our new little on tell him that he will not regret it
    klinemom2

    Answer by klinemom2 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • honey my hubby said that he wanted it to just be us that week and that he did not want my mom staying with us either......well like a dummy i was like i want to respect him and guess what happened he did not do shit the whole week i had less then 3 hours of sleep in 4 days and finally left him over it so you may want to make a smart choice and tell him to get over it that you need help and he will need it 2 believe it or not, tell him that if he had a baby come out of his penis and had to care for it after it was here would he want some help because it is painful and takes time to heal.A week is not that long but you will need it honey because you will especially want your mom to be there if it is your first because just her being there sitting there even helps relax you for some reason lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • also you may want to mention to him that you have to nurse every 3 hours ,you will feel like you lay down to go to sleep blink your eyes and boom its three hours gone by and you feel unrested because another thing when you nurse the baby it usually takes them anywhere form 15 to 30 mins to eat and half the time they fall asleep and you think well i cna lay them down they have had enough and 5 seconds after they are wanting more cuz they fell asleep instead of eating lol it is very difficult and very painful for your boobies lol but if your baby does fall asleep alot while nursing they say to rub their head gently in a circle to get them to suck and you will have to do this alot!! you mom needs to be there deff. tell him to suck it up honey please dont make the same mistake i did cuz it could cost you your relationship and cause you to have severe post pardum Good luck to you doll(:
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

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