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I need more help....

My SO and are having our first child together. but I have a 3 yr old and she wakes up through the night every night. I have morning sicknes all day n night long n I work 2 jobs n go to school full time. How can i get my SO to help with my daughter so I can rest more. He says he wont be like this when the baby comes but im seriously thinkin bout giving up all i wan is for him to say he has it just once cuz i am exhausted!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jan. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Cold toes applied to the backside, frequently, are often helpful.

    Or tell him HE is going to sleep in the three year old's room and SHE is going to share your space since he cannot be bothered to be responsible.

    Oh. And no're too tired. THAT one usually hits home.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I would NOT have a man who is not the father watch my 2 yr old especially when he doesn't want to. Surely you have a friend or neighbor who can watch her. I just don't get it, why have another child by another man when you don't have your act together? I realize it's too late now but for goodness sakes get your finances taken care of and school over with before you have more children especially with a man you are not even married to. Get that little girl a sitter so that man doesn't do something to her to get back at you for forcing him to watch her. You said this one is your first child with him. Please consider birth control. Not bashing. Just trying to help you stop putting the cart before the horse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • OK well first of all he has been there since before my daughter was one and she will be 4 this yr. secondly i dont want him to watch her i want him to be the one to get up in the middle of the night with her! where the hell do you get off telling me what to do with my life. I graduate in the spring if you must know! why should i get her a sitter if im at home. Im just tired from working n going to school and being pregnant mayb you shave read the post twice before you comment!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Does he consider, your daughter HIS ?

    Why will things be different, we this baby arrives ?

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Whoah, you should talk to your girl's pediatrician. Unless she's sick, she shouldn't be having sleep problems like that at this age.

    Answer by mogencreative at 8:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Sorry, I didn't really give an answer to the relationship thing - I just think if you can help your daughter to sleep that will help you get some rest at least until the baby is born.

    Answer by mogencreative at 8:41 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • And I quote: I just don't get it, why have another child by another man when you don't have your act together?
    Why even post of your just going to be rude??? I just dont get it, why do some woman not realize not everyone is as perfect as them??? My 3yr old is in perfect health but she still wakes up in the middle of the night. Not everyone sleeps good and this could last all the way through adulthood. Theres nothing you can really do about it (you certainly cant give her sleeping meds for it) Just comfort her. I to dont get much help with my kids through the night either. Some men are just raised to think that its a womans job. All you can really do is talk with him and let him know what your really feeling and how the pregnancy and job are effecting you. I'll add you to my prayers.

    Answer by ellegrl at 9:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Well, if I were you I would definately explore and research my options on getting her to sleep through the night. By the age of three, you should not be having this trouble with her. Although I remember my son having a phase at three where he would get up at 2 am and start jumping on the bed. We just told him to go back to sleep lol. If your SO wants to live with you, be with you, etc. then he is getting that package deal of having your daughter too. I definately think he should take some responsibility here. He should help out with her. Out of respect and compassion for you, he should be doing these things. You need to make him be responsible and hold him accountable. Elbow him, kick him, do what you have to do to make him handle things. I hope you get some rest sweety. It sounds like things are tough for you.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:17 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • He does consider my daughter his daughter. She has only been doing this not sleeping through the night phase since I have been pregnant.@elle thanks for the extra prayers! I had a talk with him and told him how I felt. He has been getting up with her through the night and taking her to school in the morning so I can get more rest before classes. It's always been not so much my job as I made it my business to do the caring for my child esp. since she wasnt his and she is a girl. At this point I just have little to no energy a few extra zzzz's could help... Thank you all ladeies... except for the one with all her negativity. Im going to quit one of my other jobs pretty soon its just with the economy I wanted to have some extra $$ saved up for when i went on maternity leave you never know whats going to happen now a days

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

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