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Will my son ever want a relationship with me again?

I am writing about my almost 16 year old son.I just arrived home after a very painful counseling session with my son .About 6 months ago my son went to live with my parents(they live 3 blocks away from me)I thought it was some phase he was going through and he would come back soon,well that day has never come.I have learned today that my son hates me,doesnt respect me,or want anything to do with me at this point.I have a 14 year old son and a six year old daughter that live in the home also.H e says that its too late and hes not coming back. My 14 year old and 15 year old absolutely do not like each other,the 14 y/o has been in a psychiatric hospital in the past and headed to juvenile detention in the future.I have accused my 15 y/o of stealing money from me and breaking my t.v,and findind out afterwards it was my 14 y/o. I have cried and cried.How do I get my son back,or is it too late.I feel as though I have lost him 4 ever

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jan. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I've waited over ten years just to have my son speak to me. It doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. These young men have to work out their issues and we must love them while we wait for them to do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • The squeaky wheel gets the grease. You need to figure out what's going on with the 14yr old and fix the situation. Your 15yr old doesn't need to live with you until things are stable.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:13 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • Send him/them to some kind of "Teenage Bootcamp" that will give them a wake up call. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • yeah, sounds like your 14 yr old is crying out for attention and your 15 yr old is tired of taking all the heat for everything. Your middle child probably likes all the drama and like seeing him gone because that means they will have the spot light.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • It sounds like he's justified in how he feels.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • my parents are divorced I grew up in another state with my mother.  At 15 I just could not get along with my mom, there was no communication and I "hated her so much" I wanted to live with my dad.  My mom at first refused to send me, she felt it was best for me to live with her.   I made life pure hell for my mom until she sent me to live with my dad.  Years later my mom told me that she thought I would miss her and want to come home.  This did not happen.  While living with my dad I was in heaven my dad took time to communicate with me, my grandparents, cousins all lived close by, my dad sent me to therapy.  As I got older I felt my mom "gave up on me" by sending me away. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

  • I would keep your 15 year old at his grandparents right now. You should get into therapy with your son, communicate with him make special time for him. Your son does not hate you, he is a normal, moody teenager who needs you to follow through. Your 14 year old is acting out, try not to feed into the drama, make rules, gives rewards for positive behavior. I also recommend therapy for your 14 year old. I also recommend a parenting class for you. It's difficult to raise children, we only do what we know. I have learned with my now 19 year old daughter that I had to change MY behavior towards my daughter. I needed to be more respectful, and listen more. Once I got into parenting classes, counseling with my daughter, I learned to back off. Once I backed off she stood up and started to follow rules. I stoped buying her stuff, giving her money taking her places. These were all privledges for good behavior. Good Luck
    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 7:55 PM on Jan. 26, 2010

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