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What can she do?

I have a friend & her 2 kids. She is divorced. She has helped me with my little one and older child, being I could not afford daycare. Her family had helped her get things for the baby(mainly clothes/shoes)some gifts) being I was not paying her but helping her provide for her kids as she helped me alot. It's been tough for her finding work now our kids are in school and she has some health issues, so walking/standing for long or typing at a pc for a long time makes it difficult. Her brother has been buying things for her kids & later throws it up in her face saying she is not a mother for not working supporting her kids & wants her to give them over to her. Her kids are not suffering. They have food, shelter, do well in school.

What can she say to her brother whom won't stop berating her and secretly asking the kids if they want to live with her ( she cant have kids ). Her dad has helped us out and tells her sister. CONT

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Her brother needs to mind his own business. If he gets upset, so what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Sometimes, it's not worth accepting the help if they are going to use it to gain leverage on you. Maybe she should just do without his help, and tell him to buzz off. Tell him to leave her and her kids alone, and stay out of her personal life. He doesn't belong there, and he isn't going to make it any easier on her ever. She's gonna have to just tell him flat out. He sounds like a jerk.
    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 12:29 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • CONT'd He called the state on us before and lied saying we had no food. We did. And then the brother buys all these things for her kids so sure, they'd want to live with the uncle. I would too!

    Then he rubs it in the face of my friend saying their dad bought this and that and it is nothing major. Sorry we ran out of milk that morning and he claims we don't have milk. Well, no. We wont til i get home! We always have enough food so i dont know why her brother does these things.

    He is mad cause she will not let the kids move in with him and his wife whom cant have kids, plus they are near 50. He just seems resentful and sure my friend has had a hard time finding work, but regardless her kids are fine. And her brother claims because she does not buy them the clothes the shoes take them to theme parks they will resent her later in life cause they can afford to do things and buy the xboxes and toys. I dont know what to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • This past christmas they loaded her kids up again, clothes, books, dvd's. and then they say the kids dont appreciate it nor deserve it and they will take it back and claim when they come to town again they will pack it all up. she is ready to pack it up and send it back to them. everything they ever bought if they are going to be like that.

    to tell her her kids will resent her for not working and givng them things all the time is so stupid. she did not have all the best clothes or got to go to all these theme parks growing up and did not suffer any.

    She is afraid they will call the state on us again, though we have nothing to hide. just cause she is not working is not evidence of neglect and they know how hard it is to find work when they say they lose social workers all the time and offices close.

    I just hate how her brother is. Worse then her ex husband( whom is out of the picture ) so I help best I can.

    Thanks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • He shouldn't help if he is doing it for the wrong reasons. They need to adopt and leave their sister alone. If people think someone can do more then really why not just let them be? Brother does sound mean for trying to cause trouble in her life. If she truly is just having a hard time due to health issues, then he should be more understanding and try to see what can be done to help her get some type of employment.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 1:29 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • She need to stay away from him. Stop letting him come around. or calling.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Well if her brother is going to react that way everytime he helps her. Then I guess it would be better off if her brother doesn't help her out. And find other ways of being helped out. Or family that could help her out a bit without throwing it in her face. good luck.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:17 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

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