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What to do about the dad

the dad of my baby found out last week about an hour after i found out i was pregnant and now he is being colder than what he usually is i dont know what to do i dont want this kid growing up like i did. dad come around when ever and stay for an hour then leave it aint easy mending a childs broken heart. I need some help on this


Asked by lonemom1987 at 5:51 AM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 7 (207 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • yeah it always makes me chuckle when someone asks why they didn't think things thru before getting pregnant. Not the point anymore... he may need some time to adjust to the idea of being a sperm donor & may be ? how much of a dad he wants to be. Give him some time to sort things out in his head then talk to him, he may just be in shock & doesn't know how you feel. If he isn't wanting to be a daddy there's not really anything you can do about it, its his choice as crappy as that may be. You say "colder than he usually is" which indicates to me that you 2 have some issues already. Explain to him that being a father doesn't necessarily mean being a boyfriend. Also sounds like his attitude brought up some old issues 4 u. Do you have any other men-uncles, cousins, etc that might be a good stand in for a male role model in your little one's life? Remember just cuz you donated the sperm doesn't make you a father & vice versa.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 7:47 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You need to tell him how you feel explaining everything and if he cant or wont commit tell him on his bike give it a bit more time he may come round its a scary thing happening

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You may have no choice in this. And right now he might be pretty shocked and not sure how to react. He might be still working out how he feels about impending fatherhood. I would not stress him too much as of yet. give him a chance to get used to the idea.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 6:29 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Why on earth did the two of you decide to have a baby? When you were discussing becoming involved sexually, is this how he told you he would react to an unplanned pregnancy?

    It sounds like, if you choose to have and keep this baby, you are facing life as a single parent. Can you provide for a child, save for your retirement, save for college?

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:49 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • rkoloms, wow. really? does bashing her choices do anything to change the fact that she is pregnanct? seriously!! I dont suppose you could have given her some constructive advice?

    Answer by sati769leigh at 6:52 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Talk to him, I can't stress that enough.If I had not had kids because my childhood sucked I wouldn't have 5 kids and be in love today.' You BOTH made this baby and yes it's a big responsibility people still do it all the time.' Communication is key.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I'm sure there is at least one single moms group on here that you can join for advice. A lot can happen in 9 months. don't hold on to a jerk just because he is the biological father and STOP SLEEPING with men who have no intention of sticking around. It was stupid to do before you got pregnant. If you dump this guy and go looking for a replacement it would be even more stupid to sleep with them early. Get a commitment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • rkolms why is it that you are always bashing people!! your way is not the only way.

    op look if you have to become a single parent then so be it. your not going to be a bad mom if you dont save for your kids college(am not going to) but talk to him first maybe he is scared. besides if he didnt wnat a abbay he could ahve kept his dick in his pants!! either he is with you or not.

    Answer by piwife at 12:07 PM on Jan. 27, 2010