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Does Your tween blame YOU when his homework does not get done...

She forgets something needed that day at school such as gym shoes etc?
My dd is always doing this. Everything is always "Mom's fault" Is this happening to other Moms?

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Asked by momthruivf at 9:35 AM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 18 (5,284 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I suggest the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen. She can only blame you if you let her.

    Answer by Gailll at 9:43 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • My son tries to do that to me. I looked at him and asked, "Who was the one at school? and Who was the one who knew that it needed to be done?" Anytime he tries to blame me for something he forgot to do I remind him who was responsible for it.


    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 11:12 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • He tried it one time and he will never do that again. He has even tried to blame the teachers. Did not get very far. HE is the only one responsible for his homeowork, bringing supplies, books, etc home. He can't do that then he suffers the consequences.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • YES! Ugh! I tell him tough toe nails! It's HIS responsibility to remember school stuff!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Nope. She, 9, knows better than to try that!

    Answer by Pnukey at 6:42 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • my 9 year old SD tries blaming the teachers and her mom for different things. she knows she can't do it to me. when it comes to homework, i have told her its her responsibility, but someone should be checking it (when they are here, i always check through their entire backpacks). And when she tries to blame teachers for going to fast or whatever it may be, I tell her that its her job to ask for help. I have subbed in her class and other teachers in her grade, I know how they do things. I also tell her that she needs to be paying attention because i am pretty sure that is her problem sometimes. I blame her mom for certain things because I know she doesn't check her homework like she should (her teacher and teachers aid told me they don't think she does) and other things. Its like she never taught them responsibility (she isn't responsible herself) and then just expects them to know how to be responsible!

    Answer by aly38914290 at 10:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • My 9yo blames for for everything she does wrong. She bit her sister the other day and it wasn't her fault it was either her sister's fault or my fault for making her mad and forcing her to bite her sister because of it. She drives me nuts. But in the end she is the only one responsible for herself and her homework. I never even know what homework she has since she doesn't bring it home and doesn't fill out her assignment book. Short of asking her teacher to write it down every single day and going into the school to get the books (which I refuse to do because I'm not the homework police)...she just has to accept the consequences for her actions. Amazingly she isn't failing, though. She's getting As and Bs in all her classes despite not turning in her homework or failing tests/papers. They keep giving her more chances to make it up and she's learning she doesn't have to do anything because there is always a 2nd chance.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:40 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Heck no neither of mine do that. They would know better than to even try. My 3 y/o does not even blame people. I am all about personal responsibilty.

    Answer by mommybug77 at 10:24 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Jen,
    you need to get her over that. I can guarentee that once she hits another school they will not play those games. If she was going to Pasteur she would be failing right now. I would be griping at the school since they are doing her a disservice.

    Answer by mommybug77 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My 9 year old dd does this to me. However, recently, I have stopped backing her up and she cannot use me as an excuse for her bad decisions. For instance, a month ago she "forgot" to finish a poster project for school. She informed me on Sunday night at 8pm that it was due the next day. I told her that it was too late for her to do the project and sent her off to bed. The next morning, I went into school and informed her teacher that I would not allow her to finish her project because she did not inform me until very late. This completely took the wind out of her sails. Well she did it to me again last Sunday night. Again, I went in and told her teacher. My dd was docked for not having her homework in. Amazingly enough, she informed me Saturday night that she has a report to due. She was able to go to school with her homework finished.

    Answer by sonnalynn at 2:27 AM on Feb. 2, 2010

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