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Should I have my son repeat the 2nd grade?

My son has been behind in reading and writing since kindergarten. He has gone to extra help and summer school and although he has improved, it's just not a big enough improvement and he's still behind. The school and his teachers seem to think him getting c's is average and nothing to worry about, but I do!

I've been thinking about keeping him back in 2nd grade for another year because if he can't do 2nd grade word sufficiantly, how is he going to do 3rd grade work and I don't want him falling even more behind. I think I should do it now, while he's still young and there is less chance of him being made fun of for being held back.

Do you think this is a good idea or should I just let him continue on and trust the teachers and the school know what they're doing? I'm so at a loss because I never had to go through this with my girls...


Asked by IhartU at 9:45 AM on Jan. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 27 (31,412 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • well c's are average and nothing to worry about. i would not hold him back have him do some work over the summer so he can continue to practice. please remember not every child is above average. average is ok

    Answer by mom2snsb at 9:56 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • He may not need to repeat it. Did you try a tutor in the areas that he needs help in? The teachers may not be able to provide him with the one on one attention that he could get from a tutor

    Answer by Shyma at 9:50 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Does he have a IEP in place at school? If he does it is the schools job to make sure he is reaching those milestones. I know if my DD didn't have one she would also be behind but because she does she is advanced. If you think keeping him back is the right thing to do you should do it now when he is still little and the kids arn't as mean yet GL

    Answer by Fordmomma at 9:51 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • how is he doing in other areas ie math? if he is doing ok or well with other subjects and reading is the only difficulty i would go with the previous suggestiong of looking in to a tutor to help him.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:54 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Sounds like we are in the same boat... I have asked the teachers since preK if he should be held back and they all said NO, he will be fine.. He is very intelligent but his reading and handwriting is also very bad, he is below grade level in reading but above in everything else. Part of one of his evaluations he had a IQ score of 125. Which is pretty high. For some reason he just can't "get it" when it comes to reading and his writing looks like a 3 year old.

    On the other hand, I had a really hard time with my oldest DD on reading also, I left it alone and by the age of 12 she was an avid reader, she was also behind in reading and had a very hard time with it.. She is now a senior and in all honor classes.

    I have heard that boys are not into reading as much as girls, they need books that will keep their attention. Also that around age 11 is the age that everything just clicks for alot of children. IDK


    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • When is your ds's b-day? Was yourr ds full term or preemie?Have you had him tested for LD?
    I know these are a lot of questions but they could be a pretty strong reason to do it or not. I have a 9 yr old,She has an April b-day and was born at 31 weeks. She always needed a lot of extra attention from teachers and I had her doing the tutoring and extra help(no child left behind) she was in speech class in kindergarten too. When she hit second grade she had an older teacher that was unwilling to give her the extra attention she needed. She was not very nice to her and embarrased her in class so her self esteem dropped. She got behind and was making bad grades. We had her tested and she doesnot have LD. I had thought that all the time. She did however have ADHD. The school seemed to wanna bump head w/my dh and I about everything. I wanted her switched from this old ladies classroom but principal would not,it was like cont~

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • He recently had surgery on his ears because he was almost deaf in one ear. We believe the reason he fell behind is because he just couldn't hear the sounds of the letters. They have seen some improvement since the surgery, but I'm just afraid it will take a long time for him to catch up to the rest of the kids in the grade. He is above average in math, but his spelling, reading and writing are like he's in kindergarten still. He takes a Title 1 reading class in school and that teacher says he's getting better, so maybe I should just hang on for a little while longer and see if he does improve enough to move on. His grandmother is a Tutor at Sylvan, so maybe I'll ask her to work with him a few hours a week...

    Thanks everyone for the suggestions. You have no idea how scary this is for me!


    Answer by IhartU at 10:13 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Cont~Everything that we tried to do for her they dragged feet and fought us on. My dd was hurting and some mornings I just did not want to send her off. I suggested holding her back and the principal was against that too. I'll tell you,I felt like I had been run over by the school bus by this point. Her tutor told me that she thought she should stay back a year and everyone I talked w/said the same. I looked into private schools and did some visits. We DID retain her and I will tell you it was THE best decision I have made as a parent(besides breast feeding). She is in a Catholic school_every school is different so I'm not saying that all kids should go to one,it just turned out best for us. She was throughly remediated and she is no on the A~B honor roll. We had to do medication for focus but she is able to meet her potential when she so desires. Can a Mom asks for anything more? I would not trust the school,go w/your own gut

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:15 AM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • He is still young enough to hold him back. It's a lot better to do it when they are younger because those foundations are so important. My mom is a fifth grade math teacher and she says so many kids are not held back when they should be. I would take him to a child study center in your area and get him tested. He may have a learning disability or have something wrong with him that is fixable. My mom had told me that if children have specific learning disabilities, then the teacher has to conform to their learning style and do everything they can to help them. I would rule out adhd, dislexia, etc. before you decide what needs to be done. Often children go undiagonsed and struggle in school. You will need to evaluate what needs to be done with the help of professionals and people who care. You may also contact the school about taking on the expense of getting him tested as well.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:16 AM on Jan. 27, 2010