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Cheating or Not?

So I often check my husbands email since he never checks it and I then "report" to him who sent him anything or if there was anything he needs to respond to. So today I checked his e-mail...and for the past few weeks I have been noticing a LOT more spam...like dating services, come check out my new pics...ect...I thought nothing of it until today I check and there were over 20 of these different emails. Well, I thought to myself they have to get his email some how so I went to our history on our Internet and there was NOTHING there, except for the 4 sites I visited today. When we were dating he would tell me how he would go online and look at girls and so forth...you get the picture. So I texted him and asked him if he was looking at girls...his answer...yes...I really feel betrayed...almost like I have been cheated on. I know it is only human for a man to look and get turned out by other women...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • ...but naked women is where I am really having a hard time with. I just feel so disgusted with him and I have lost a little respect and I am totally turned off by him!

    What do you think? Think I am over reacting...or is this a normal reaction...i hate feeling like this cause I am not the jealous type and i think I am pretty hot...lol...considering I have 2 babies within years apart!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • oh man i get a ton of those stupid spam all the time. You don't have to go to there site to get on there list. they can get it from anywhere.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You can look but you cant touch. Its not cheating unless he makes it cheating. Who cares if he is looking who's bed is in every night until hes not in bed with you every night or seeing these people in real life then you should worry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • It's not a problem that he does it, it's a problem that he does it despite what it does to you. It shows a lack for respect for women, himself and his marriage.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 12:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I think your jumping to conclusions in my op but just keep checking his email..But I do think you need to hear it from him if anything else besides looking is going on..Ask yourself this: Does he love you? Does he spend numerous hours online? If he does love you but don't spend alot of time online he's probably not cheating but he's looking which isn't right he should only have eyes for you it's not fair to you he lusts over other girls like that maybe do something to spice up your love life maybe he's bored with the sex idk but whatever it is you guys need to discuss it and work it out sorry you feel betrayed I would too :)
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 12:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • im not sure! if its just pictures i dont its cheating!
    gonzalez3

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 12:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • The fact that he was trying to "hide" it from you (by deleting the history) would bother me as much as him looking at it. Although my husband used to have quite a large porn collection when we were dating, when I told him it bothered me he stopped looking at it (he got rid of all his DVDs and magazines when we were married and we moved into "our" house - I have 3 kids from a prior marriage and he would never expose them to that). I think it shows a lack of respect for women in general and me specifically if he were looking at other women. We are married and the only woman he should see naked is me.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • honestly when my DH first started doing it I reacted the same way as you are. But now I think of it this way. I don't really care anymore if he looks at porn or whatever cause do you achually think he is going to be able to have that women on the magazine or what not? The only think I told him is if he is going to be looking at it I don't want it looked at on my computer since he crashed 2 of my computers so he looks on his playstation. I told him I didn't care it just makes me mad when he hides it from me or when I ask about it he lies to me. So now if I ask about it he does tell me the truth. Sometimes he does it in front of me but I don't care cause he isn't going to achually get those girls lol and at least he isn't lying to me. I mean they are guys so guys are going to do it weather infront of you or behind your back and do you really want him to lie to you about it? And yes they can get your email address whateve
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 12:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Its not cheating, if they are porn stars and beauty is only picture deep with a ton of make up plastic surgery and what not who cares look at with him. But he should have told you that he was looking at them so you wouldn't be so upset. If you dont like to look at that stuff then ask him not to look anymore even though he will just do it behind your back so just let him look is there anything wrong with looking and at least he not doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I'd feel the same way if I were you (((HUGS))) but I might take SOME solace in the fact that he copped to it, didnt try to lie..he gets maybe 2 points for that...the sucky part for me at this point would be I'd feel the need to watch him like a hawk...I hate that feeling..it's the worst~! I'm sorry for your pain :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

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