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How do you deal with "punishment?"

This has always been a difficult subject with me. . . to give you a little back ground info. . . My parents dabbled in all forms of punishment. . . from aggressive to passive. . . Paddlings being among the worst physical, all the way to reading from the Bible as a passive. We (my sibling and I) were also made to sit knee to knee, elbows on knees, and nose to nose when we fought, sitting on the floor cross-legged for a half hour, if we made any noise that time would increase. . .there were many other "inventive" forms of punishment. . . but anyhow.
I feel there is a very thin line between punishment and abuse. . . where do you draw the line and how do you instill punishment with out going too far? What is to far? And what punishments do you use, and why do they work? How do they work?
** There is no wrong answer. . .Please don't judge!!**

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • I 100% believe that the punishment depends on the action. You do the crime, you do the time. I use spanking as a complete last resort (she's 20 months and has only been spanked once). I don't disagree with spanking, but I think a lot of parents spank out of anger, and for things that really don't deserve a spanking. Most of the time I can tell her she is going to get in trouble for whatever she is doing, and she stops. If she doesn't stop after the warning I put her in time out (2 minutes-timeout is our most used form of punishment). And yes it works. I have very, very few discipline issues with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I think abuse is when the child isn't learning anything from it and you're just taking your anger out on them. Hitting and screaming are examples of that. Punishment is supposed to prevent the action from being repeated and teach the child right from wrong. It not supposed make the child fear you, it is supposed to make them fear the action that they committed. I put my 3 year old in the corner for 3 minutes. The 3 minutes starts when she is quiet. When she gets out, I ask her if she knows why she was in there. If she says yes, I have her explain it. If she says no, I explain it to her. I try my best to stick to this.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 2:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

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