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always his way.

My boyfriend wants to go to a concert. My problem is why can't I go with him? We have two children together. He wants to go with his co-workers 15 year old son cause she asked him to take him. I wanted to go away that weekend and he told me no cause we don't have the money and he has to work. He is going to leave me here with my kids with no car for 3 days. I just don't find it fair. I never get to go away like that. A few weeks ago he wanted to go out with his cousin and he did and he said he would be back by midnight. He came back at 3:30 in the am. I just don't know what to do. What to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't live with and have kids with someone I wasn't married to. I wouldn't put myself in that kind of power situation. He can do whatever he wants. Why not, you aren't married. Obviously he doesn't care about you and your (his) children if he would leave you without a car for 3 days.

    Tell him things have to change. If he doesn't want what you want then ask him to leave or you leave and file for custody and child support.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I don't think he'd be my boyfriend anymore.....
    TimandMely4ever

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 5:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You need to have a serious talk with him and not tolerate any behavior that youre not willing to. By letting him run around and have all his fun and leave you with the kids all the time, you're telling him its ok. As for leaving you without a car for three days, think about if there was an emergency and you had to take the kids to the hospital or something. How would you get there? How would you get the kids to a sitter if there was something wrong with you?

    I do agree with the other poster in that living with someone and having kids with them, you're telling him that its ok for him to not make a complete commitment to your family. He may care about you and love you and the kids, but he has no obligation to stick around.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 5:27 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Gailll is right.

    Why should "your" boyfriend feel that he has to treat you with respect?! What will happen if he doesn't - obviously: nothing.

    As you said in your headline: "always HIS way".

    If you have children together, yet are not married, it looks like he has been getting his way for a long time - and has had no responsibilities demanded of him. (Better yet, he OUGHT to WANT to be responsible, WANT to marry the mother of his children, WANT to declare that he will always be there for you, WANT to put you and his children first ahead of his own desires.)

    If he does NOT want to do these things, then he is not a grown-up; he is NOT a man ... and you are at only the beginning of many adventures in being exploited which you have ahead of you.

    Take it from me: a man who is spoiled does NOT shape up by continuing to be spoiled. It only gets worse, because he starts to believe he DESERVES it, and you OWE it to him !
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 5:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Your boyfriend is a very selfish man. It would appear that the only person he cares about is himself. I find it very hard to believe that you are just now finding this out about him, and you have chosen him to be the daddy to your two children. Were it not for them, I would tell you to leave his hide in the dust, but they do need their daddy, so that makes your leaving a bit more complicated. Maybe you could invite a friend or family member over this week-end and the two of you could do something fun. I find that when I'm aggravated, the best way to deal with it is to just do something fun myself. Rent some movies, make some popcorn, or order a pizza, just something to make your week-end a little special. You can't change your boyfriend. You only have power to change yourself and the way you deal with him.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:39 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • so the coworker is more important. she asked him to take her son so he has to .. that is BS.. I would tell him the selfish behavior is going to stop. what if a male friend of yours asked you to take his kids out on the town and you left hubby at home.. he would wonder why you were doing this man favors. why should he be doing the coworker any favors.. tell him that that is not acceptable..
    you can word it, as " that is very unloving behavior and i felt unloved when you chose to put your coworkers needs before mine and also that you went back on your word to be home at 12.00."

    also are your kids going to be going out till 3 in the morning.. um probabaly not.how old is he? why would he want a 15 year old to be hanging out till 3:30, the son he never had or something..
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 6:00 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • oh i see he hasnt gone with the kid yet.. good . ask him why he feels the need to take someone else's kid to a concert.. he can use that time with his children and family. also what i said above too. hope this helps..
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 6:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I'm sorry but why would you need to be gone for 3 days for a concert? (Am assuming that's why you won't have a car)
    Second... I'm a little bit paranoid or something because my gut would tell me that this coworker is more than a passing thought to him... why else would she ask him to take her son ANYWHERE
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Why is he taking someone elses kid out when he has kids? No you need to lose him if he cannot put you and the kids wants before other peoples.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 4:01 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • i agree with lisa ann p .. maybe its a get away for them.... call up the co-worker and ask her why she is asking your husband to take her kid for 3 days.. or even to the concert?
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 4:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

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