Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

is my household the only one like this?

i read so many other responses about how their husband gives them even said that her husbanddoesnt put limit on how much money she can spend.(within reason of course) but i never even see any money. wefiles ourtax return and we got 2800 back. i got $50. and it wasnt even "for me" i got a vaccum. he got to decide the rest. if i say anything its his money. im a sahm. i care for our dd and im pregnant.and he works from home MAYBE 6 hours a day. he'll give me money for laundry but the exact amount. never any extra. im not trying to have pity on me but i just want to know if this is not how others have also.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Even before we were married if he had money WE had money and if I had money WE had it. Your husband isn't being fair to you. Perhaps he should be reminded that if he didn't have you and you dd to claim on taxes he wouldn't have that money at all. I'm sorry, but it's a partnership and you earn your access to that money. I had a friend list all her "duties" and their cost if her dh had to hire someone to do it. He changed his mind about her and her "value".

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:16 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • No, our home doesnt work that way. And I think its sad that you tolerate that! That money is just as much yours as his.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 6:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I am a SAHM too and it is our money. He spends what he wants and I spend what I want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • No, Dh and I have a joint bank acct. that both of us have access to and we let each other know if we spend anything, just as a courtesy. Big purchases we decided together. For the kids, I do all the shopping on my own as well as the groceries and DHs stuff he needs cause he never has time and hates to shop. I tell him later what i spend, just so we are on the same page and both know what we have left. We are equal in our partneship as any relationship should be, I think and if it's not and he's controling the money like that, he's controlling you. You need to change that or change the situation. Meaning get out. No good can come of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • your crazy girl!!! you better do something about that.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • ohh if my hubby tryed to do that i would be very upset he has never even said i better not spend money ... i dont know how u put up with that!

    Answer by aprilsalcro at 6:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • no im my house is our money you need to tell him clear the u do much work as he does


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • We have a joint account also (I'm a SAHM too) and I don't call to ask him if it's okay if I buy... but I do use reason of course and ask before making big purchases how we stand financially (our income isn't a regular one, some are really good, some aren't so great, he's self employeed).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:40 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Marriage is an equal partnership. You are being treated like a maid, nanny and concubine. Your relationship needs serious, professional help.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • That is just CRAP. What, exactly, would he do if he didn't have you? What kind of money would he be able to make then, with a baby on his hands. Without you I am sure he is useless. Just because he is the one doing the job that gets money into the house does not mean that you are not VERY deserving of all that money; I'm certain he could not earn it without your help. IMO that is not a marriage, more like slavery. Sheesh.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Jan. 27, 2010