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My 4 year old doesn't play with other kids at preschool. help?

My son just turned 4 and he's been in (Montessori) preschool since August. We just got his first progress report and according to the teacher, he's doing great in everything, awesome concentration, etc. except, he doesn't really play with the other kids. Her words are that he, "prefers to play and do lessons on his own. Occasionally, he will allow a teacher to work with him. Typically at his age, children will play together." My husband and I are kind of concerned and I plan to have a conference thingy with the teacher but... I'm really at a loss on what the problem might be and how to handle it. He's never been overtly shy. In fact, he's always been pretty outgoing. He enjoys school. He never protests about going. Anyone else ever experience anything like this?

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Asked by iluvmommyhood58 at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • My daughter was in prek-4 last year at a catholic school. Her teacher said the same thing about her. She stayed home with me till last year and was pretty much a mommies girl. After a few play dates with class mates at home she got a little closer to them. He's probably just a little shy. Makinley (dd) is doing great this year.

    Answer by ellegrl at 6:42 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • That is one persons opinion of him! I know that MOST kids like to socialize, but some do not. I know my older son was a happy, content kid but never asked to have friends over, never cared if he had a lot of kids to play with, etc... I am very social so it worried me because I thought it was not normal. As he got older, he started to seek out other kids more- by 4th grade he was still a bit on the quiet side but was starting to want to be with other kids more. He is in High School and although he still does not get too in to the social scene he does enjoy having a lot of friends. He is Captain of the football team, plays a lot of sports, hangs out with lots of kids at school but still loves his down time and does not go to a lot of parties or dances. He is happy and secure. If your son seems happy and not lonely, I would keep an eye on it but not stress out too much about it.

    Answer by soyousay at 6:42 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • BTW- my younger son is the opposite- he needs to have people around all the time and thrives on having an active social life. Honestly- I think both types of kids have their pluses and minuses!

    Answer by soyousay at 6:43 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Yeah, he has a younger brother who, I can already tell, is the "center of attention" type kid. lol. He seems happy, he has no other problems with, well, anything, really. I'm concerned because I'm NOT very social, myself. I worry that will kind of rub off on my kids... He has had playdates with another boy who's a little younger than he is and he more like, played BESIDE him instead of with him but I had attributed it to the age difference. I don't know. I agree it's just one person's opinion but, you know...

    Answer by iluvmommyhood58 at 6:54 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I know iluvmommy, we all worry about our kids! Just tuck it in your head as something to keep an eye on and make sure you are giving him plenty of chances to make friends and socialize. My husband is like you-not very social so maybe it is "genetic" so to speak. When my kids were younger I could whip myself into a frenzy with worry. Hindsight is 20/20 and I now know things work themselves out in time but I know it can seem overwhelming when someone tells you something about your child... you worry- you just do!

    Answer by soyousay at 7:43 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I don't know why teachers act like this means there's something wrong with a child. Some kids just like to do their own thing or work alone. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

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