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How to punish my child

my daughter got caught in a lie today. she was at her boyfriends house without a parent home. I knew parents would not be home, she said they would and went over after school. when i got off work went over, dad was home because they called him and asked him to come home. this is an all the time rule, nothing new. How do i punish this one?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • grounded from EVERYTHING for 2 weeks?
    My son is only 6 ...I dread theese days
    lol
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • No more going over to her BF's house, only they can be at your house?
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Punishment does not teach good behavior. It will make your teen more sneaky and resent you. You need to learn communication skills or more parenting skills.

    I recommend the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.

    There are two important things here, not telling the truth and her being alone with the boyfriend. I think the being alone with the boyfriend is the most important. Instead of punish think consequence. If she asks to go to his house you could ask to talk to his parents to make sure they are going to be home. Or he can come to your house when you are home.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 9:00 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I agree with Adelicious. She has shown you that she cannot be trusted to follow the rule that a parent must be home at her bfs house. So therefore she shouldn't be allowed over there anymore. Only her bf can come to your house. Unfortunately calling to make sure his parent's are gonna be home is not effective. My bf's parents used to lie to my mom and say they were going to be home when they would leave soon after I got there. Parent's lie too. She needs to have a consequence for lying. My sister just recently snuck out of her friend's house when she stayed the night there. My mom found out about it and she's no longer allowed to stay the night anywhere. The consequence fits the crime, and she has learned a hard lesson.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 9:09 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Make sure they know about using protection. Sadly, some kids will have sex (with or without your consent) and end up pregnant. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I would go with letting him come to your house but she can't go to his, and what anon22 said
    if they want to be alone together I'm pretty sure they will find a way
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:28 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • My daughter woudln't be allowed to go over there anymore at all, and she'd be grounded from everything for a very long time.
    GoodMomma24-7

    Answer by GoodMomma24-7 at 12:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • If you knew there would be no parents home and this is a rule for you then why didn't you do something about that - tell her no, call one of his parents, go over there? With that said, ground her and make it real clear to the boyfriend and the parents this is not to happen again.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

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