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How could he do it?

I have a past of getting into trouble with worthless checks I ran from my probation for a year and was caught just a few months back. I got locked up for 7 months , now my husband rarely talked to me and never wrote me at all. We at the time were so super close and have a 9 mth old daughter that needs us both. I feel like I want to leave him because it seemed like he didn't care. During the 7 months I found God and I told him I wanted to leave him. He said if I gave him one chance he would show me Gods in his life and that when he comes back (he is in the Navy on deployment) that he would always be there. I do not know whether to believe him or just move on with my life. Cause I am very very hurt by his actions.

What should I do.....please do not criticize me I was young and stupid when I got into trouble and pregnant when I ran I've paid for my crime.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (20)
  • One thing we learn when we find religion is forgiveness. The past is past.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • well give him a chance just like you would like people to give you a chance, then go from there.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • True and than you for answering I am just having a REALLY hard time forgiving him!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You made a mistake and now have grown, maybe he has realized he made a mistake and grown? Is that impossible to believe? You grew why couldn't he?

    Answer by kc932 at 10:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • One thing we find in jail is God. You ever wonder why that is? But that wasn't your question. You asked about dh. You could have ruined his military career. I'm sure that's why he didn't contact you. He is trying to protect his career and the future of his little girl. I am sure he figured you can fend for yourself, especially since now you and God are best buds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • Can you find a minister or family counselor through your church? If God is really in your lives and your marriage, He can help you work things out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • You have a lot to deal with so why not stay for now, especially since he is deployed. If nothing else it will give you a chance to experience what it will be like to raise your child alone. Maybe he didn't contact you because he was dealing with a lot also, he is in the military, I'm sure he has seen some really bad things, he has a young child, the child's mother is in jail, Maybe he was doing some soul searching of his own.  Leaving just seems like another impulsive decision.

    While he is gone work on yourself.  Focus on getting a job that can support you and your daughter, taking care of your daughter, growing closer to God, finding a good support system.  This should keep you busy.  Good Luck.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I would say TRY, give him that second chance and maybe you will be surprised. What can it hurt if you both want to try, then you shall succeed regardless!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • How long has it been since you found God? Sometimes when a gun is put to our head, we discover God fast and then let him go just as quickly. Will you stay with your current faith? If so, cut him slack. If not, cut him slack and either way, good luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • The thing is, yes, he should have written you. BUT - as you said, you were young, you made mistakes, and you were in a stressful situation where you paid for them. The thing is, your actions could have really caused him a lot of problems with the Navy - to the point it could have even gotten him kicked out, depending on what his job is (yes, even though you were the one who did it, not him).

    Deployments are very hard, stressful things. He was probably also very hurt and upset and feeling very betrayed by you - he left, he trusted you to be taking care of things, taking care of your dd, etc, instead, you got in all this trouble and ended up in jail. You made bad choices, but are wanting to be forgiven (by God, and by society, because you did your time for it) - doesn't he also deserve a chance to say I made a bad choice, and I've learned from it?


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:47 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

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