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Is it bad if you are scared to death being a new and first time mom, that you are going to screw up royally.

My husband says that will pass in time, I just am so worried that I a going to screw up somehow,my girls are my life, and I love them more than anything, but I am scared to death that I might do the wrong thing, that I might now make the best decisions, they were both born premature, but healthy, so I worry too did I do something that caused that, Am I just being a worrier or is there a real thing to this, and does anyone have any advice to help.

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Asked by Brittanytwins at 11:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • Honestly, I think most good moms worry at some point or another about this. Just do the best you can, make the best choices you can (learning about your options and everything), and love your babies.

    It's normal to worry, but unless you're doing things that you know deep down are wrong (hurting them, spending all day stoned on drugs or drunk and not caring for them, etc), then try to not let it get to you.

    None of us are perfect, and we all do make mistakes, but that's good, too - because as your kids get older, they, too, are going to make mistakes, and it's good for them to know that we all do, and that we can still be good people, and can still be loved.

    Just try not to stress so much about it, and enjoy watching / helping your babies grow :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • we all made mistakes, and probably will screw up again! It's called parenting. It's a trial and error process. You will be fine and it's totally normal. You will accommplish your own parenting style as the time goes by.

    Answer by Steff107 at 11:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2010

  • I believe for the most part, it is normal. It's a scary thing to be in charge of a whole new being, and I dont' think anyone is ever "ready" for that. Good moms worry, period.

    I was a worrier, except my worry grew stronger and stronger where I wouldn't sleep and I was almost scared to touch my baby. If it's a constant worry about litte things, it might be anxiety. People don't talk about that as much as postpartum, but it is still very scary. Just throwing my experience out there. Congratulations, you will do fine!

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 12:07 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Bad? Heck no. NORMAL.

    I think it would be bad if you were so arrogant as to NEVER have this worry.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:20 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • You will need to come to terms with the fact that you will make mistakes.
    As long as you're honest with yourself and your family, you will be fine.
    You will (all) learn and make wiser choices from that mistake.

    If you expect perfection you are really setting yourself up for disaster.
    Good Mothering is *not* about perfection. It is about honesty and nurturing and faith.
    Love your children and you'll all get through! ;-)

    I encourage women to learn. If you have fears, investigate them so you can move on, move past.
    Get whatever you need to move through.

    I like to share this with mothers-to-be, but it applies for everyone, anytime:

    Answer by doulala at 4:02 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • doulala

    Answer by doulala at 4:05 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • It is not good or bad, it just is...

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:18 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

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