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Do you think he is being reasonable or nervous?

My BF and I have lived apart for over a year now. Hes at school. We are engaged but he is still going to propose with a ring to me. I really want to get married but I'm really sick of being away from him. My rents and his are not going to be happy bout us living together. We both want me to move down there by the summer. He isnt graduating till 2012 (hes 23 tho..his credits didnt get transferred). His mother doesnt even want him to have anything to do with me and both his mom and dad want him to graduate first. Thats his main reason right now. Even if we got married...he is going to be in grad school eventually. Anyways, I keep seeing everyone around me that ARE in school getting married and im like Why cant we do it? I know it's tough but I know it can be done too. Do you think he is being reasonable or theres a deeper issue?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Jan. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (36)
  • do u have kids?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:14 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I have one. She's 18 months old. He has been there from the beginning since I found out I was pregnant. (he's not the father...but wants to be SOOO bad and is great with her. she calls him daddy already)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Let him finish college first and see where it goes from there. If you don't and you kind of force him into marriage, he may resent you, his parents are going to resent you and that's no way to start a marriage.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:16 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • It is so much easier on him to not have a wife and marriage to worry about. If he is supporting himself now and not supporting you also, then he would have this extra responsibility I guess I don't have enough information about your life. If you are working and supporting yourself and will continue to do so. Then marriage would seem reasonable. But if you don't support yourself or if he doesn't support himself, then getting married would be a financial strain.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:17 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • HONEY,

    This is where you need to think, with your MIND and not your heart, your heart, will always get you in trouble.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:17 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • ugh..good point legalmommy101.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • OP here-What is my mind telling me to do!? Lol. A part of me says...I LOVE HIM TO DEATH. Couldn't see myself with anyone else. I want to be around him he makes me happy. I am happy with myself he just makes things better. He loves my daughter sooo much. On the other hand...a part of me wonders WHY the hell are we apart?...should i be dating around?

    It's tough. I hate when my mind does thiis lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Well my DH and I met in college were apart until I graduated we were thousands of miles apart I was in AZ he was in AK. We did this for a year. I did however spend that summer with him in Alaska. Then I moved in with him and did my student teaching out of state in AK and we go engaged, and married a year and a half later and then we got pregnant he graduated college while I was 8 months pregnant and we had been married a year, so it can be done it isn't a difficult as some would have you believe. Also his parents weren't thrilled about any of it and they still dont like me but oh well. Do what makes you guys happy and forget what they think, it isn't their life and they have no right to tell a grown man what to do with his life. Good luck. PM me if you would like.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:22 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • If he truly loves you and you both are meant to be then you both will be together.

    It should not matter to him or you or anyone else that you both are together. Its you and him not him and his parents. They will learn to like you if not then that is there loss. Moving things too fast is not a good thing either let things flow becasue you dont want to make a big move and have your little one be caught up in something that she and you dont need. Good Luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • You can love him and support him to stay in school and better himself and his future family. You don't have to be stuck up his butt to show him you love him. There are times in many marriages where the two people are apart for a period of time. You make it work.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:22 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

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