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Anyone have kids 12 years apart??

This isnt for me but for my friend : My friend is due this march and her oldest is 12 years old, she isnt sure how her daughter is going to handle it, at times she seems excited about her sister coming and then she gets pissy and acts like everyone will forget about her and says things like " everyone will pay more attention to the baby and forget about me" or " all you care about is that baby". Shes been used to having everything for herself and all the attention majority of the time, My friends bf does have kids of his own and they come over ever so often but its mainly just her. What should she do to make things fair for both her oldest and the new baby?

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Asked by krisholl2285 at 2:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (160 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • my kids are 13yrs apart and i was nervous about telling my daughter for those same reasons and when we told her that she was going to be a sister, she cried for joy. Now my son is 2 and she's almost 15 and they love each other sooooo much. She comes home from school and ds runs to the door to greet her and they hug each other everyday. I dont know if i just got lucky or what, but i didnt have to do anything to ease the transition, dd helps me with ds, she changes diapers, helps me with his food, she plays with him, she even babysits so that i can take a nice long shower.
    My daughter spent the whole time with us during labor and she helped me through contractions, maybe that helped bond her and her little brother. Maybe she can try that.

    Answer by proudmomma777 at 3:02 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My son was 15 when my daughter was born. He was kind of apprehensive at first but the minute he held her he change his mind. She is 4 now & they just love each other to death. She cant wait for him to come home in the afternoon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My brother and I are 11 years apart, myself being the older one. I don't recall ever being jealous, but that's been almost 30 years ago too. I do remember that my aunt would come get me once a month so I could be spoiled a bit and have all the attention with her. I loved helping take care of him, I was a mother hen to him. I also remember my mother getting me a book when she told me she was pregnant about being a sister.

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:37 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My oldest son was 11 when I had his brother and another sibling, a sister, a year later. He was excited about no longer being the only child and having all my attention on him. He also told me he liked the idea of having someone to "boss around." LOL. He was an excellent help with both. Now that he's 26 and they're 14 and 15, he's an even greater help at bridging the gap and helping them to understand me. Strangely enough, he chose a job instructing kids.


    Answer by Ewadun at 5:14 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I am 11 years yonger than my sister and she has always been my hero. She helped take care of me when I was a baby. I never knew of her having any ill feelings towards me. We are very very close to this day.

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:28 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My older two were 14 and 10 when I had my baby in Oct. And they both are crazy about him! And big helps!

    Answer by nurseangel2005 at 5:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I do not have kids that far apart but I am the oldest and the next one after me is 14 (I'm 28). I remember when my dad told me that they were having a baby (BTW is was my Dad and Stepmom). I admit I was pissed at first because I thought nobody would care about me anymore. But they made sure to include me in just about everything. I do remember they asked me the day before the ultrasound if I wanted a brother or sister and I said both. Well when they got home I was informed I was getting both. They were twins a boy and a girl. I got to help pick names out (my SM and I picked out their names) and I got to pick how to decorate their room. I admit I was still a little worried but when they were born you couldn't pull me away from them. My little sister had to be admitted to the hospital when she was 5 months old and I wouldn't leave. Have your friend include her 12 yr old in EVERYTHING and I'm sure she'll be alright. GL!


    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 7:39 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I have a friend who has 15 years difference between her and her next sibling (she was an unexpected joy). I know she told me that even to this day she at times has problems with her siblings thinking of her as a baby and she is 29 with twins on the way. They also got mad at her a lot when she was growing up because she was the baby. For the most part, all is good with her and her siblings...just a bit of jealousy.

    I have a sister who is no longer living and there was 13 years between us. I have an older brother that is 10 years between our older sister and 3 between us. It was my sister's happiest moment when I was born. She always wanted a little sister.

    Answer by vickwu at 7:43 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • my kids are 16, 13 and 3. I find my two oldest while at each other's thrroats alot since their teens and opposite sex both love the little one. In fact I walked in on my 13 yo son playing tea party with the baby the other day and even dressed up for the role. And begged me not to tell. Shush!!!!! And I agree they are huge helps.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 7:58 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I have my last two 14 years apart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 AM on Jan. 28, 2010

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