Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships

He's not the dad

I didnt kno where to post this question...we found out my sons alleged father was not his father...the guy who i thought was his dad died when I was 5 months so the guy's family brought things for my son. Now that they found out he isnt his they want the money back for everything the brought....which is alot...my son is 6 months so they say they love me and him and still want a relationship with us. Is it wrong for me to be upset with them that they want the money back?
I am not the type of person who would have lied about this...if i really thought the guy wasnt they dad I would have said so...I would have NEVER led them on like this.
By the way...my son dad is a my ex boyfriend's...long story

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • I think that what they gave as gifts legally they cannot take back. I am sorry you are going through this. I think they should probably just let it go. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • iT WOULD BE REALLY HELPFUL IF YOU GAVE FAKE NAMES TO THESE GUYS, it would be easier to understand this complex situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Are they claiming you defrauded them? They need to just let things lie.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 1:25 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • HELL NO! A gift is a GIFT! Common sense!

    They NEED a life! LOL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • They cannot legally hold you accountable for items they have purchased. It was THEIR decision.

    However, maybe this will teach you a lesson about sleeping around. I personally think when a woman gets pregnant and they don't know who the father is that maybe they should just slow it down a bit. It's really gross.

    I think they are partially pissed off because maybe they didn't realize two different guys could be the Dad?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • O.P
    The guy who died when I was 5 monthsprego is (Joey) Joey's family brought my son things like stroller, carseat etc...we took a paternity test and found out joey isnt my son's dad. so Joey's family wants money back for the things they brought...but they still want a relationship with us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • So that means you cheated on Joey?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • OP
    yes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I would give them $200 and tell them that you did not intend for this to happen and that you appreciate all they did for you. That way there is no more anger that you lied to them. I agree that they are gifts and you shouldn't have to pay them back, but you were wrong to tell them he was Joeys kid, when there was a possibility that he wasn't. Just cut your losses and pay them what you can, that way you will not have guilt about it and they will feel you weren't trying to get stuff from them.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:36 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • It was a very selfish and scandalous thing to do. NOT admitting that two different people could be the father?! Wow. They looked at that child as their grandson, and now he isnt. There is definitely a lot of emotional hurt on their side caused by your actions.

    You need to just pay up. You got gifts and all of that from them trying to help you, but based on YOUR lie. You mislead them, lied to them, and hurt them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships