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Should I feel weired if SD wants to put up romantic/affectionate old pics of her mom and dad???

We recently moved to a larger apartment... with a enough rooms for new baby, my stepdaughter, and my husband and I. My 12 y/o SD had had pictures of her mom and herself in our home, but now she wants to put up pictures of her mom and her dad when they were dating and kissing and hugging. I feel a bit uncomfortable with that... should I? ... I mean I dont mind pics of her mom, but why those where they are affectionate and kissing.... Is that unkind in my part to feel strange? or unkind that she is putting them up?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (13)
  • Her world fell apart when mom and dad split. I'd leave it alone as long as she keeps them in her room and not out in the common area.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:32 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • It's a phase. How old is your baby?
    I bet she is just struggling w/her own self image. If you say she can't have them out,then she will most likely rebel. You should probably just wait it out and give it some time. Youre a pretty caring sm to even think it through.
    My sm would have had my head on a platter if I had ever had a pic of my mom out.

    Answer by momthruivf at 3:34 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • i would let her keep them, especially if they are in her room. my parents have been divorced since i was 3 so i never knew them together, but still wish they were. i also have a picture of them together from there younger yrs. they are both remarried also.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:12 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I would feel uncomfortable with it as well. If it were me, I would talk to my husband about it...I'm sure he would understand and he can talk to SD about it. If she wants to keep them,thats fine..maybe you can buy her a nice photo album or scrapbook to put them in to look at whenever she wants to.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • another thought...if she wants to hang them in her own bedroom..I would be okay with that...I was thinking in terms of hanging them in your living room or something.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I agree with the previous posts, you should allow her to put them up. I don't think she is doing it to be unkind, and I don't think you should be offended by it. I would guess that she probably hopes they will get back together, but as long as she is respectful to you, I doubt it is because she doesn't want you with her dad. It is a dream that a LOT of girls have about their divorced parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I think you are over looking the obvious. This child is hurting. It is the dream of most children ofg divorce that their parents will someday reunite. YOU just had a baby with HER Dad. That is threatening her fantasy. She needs to know that her Mom and Dad loved one another at some point. Especially at 12, her pics, her room...let it be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Of course you're going to feel weird about it, it's pics of your hubby being romantic/affectionate with another woman. But, for her it's no different than it would be if you had pics like that of your mom and dad. My parents were married until my mom passed away and my dad has since remarried. I like seeing old pics so I can remember how much they were in love, even though he is now married to and in love with someone else. A child of divorce might like those pics even more since her parents have chosen to be apart and move on with separate lives. I imagine it would be comforting to see that at one point the people who made her were in love with each other.

    For both of your sakes, let her keep the pics, but in her room as a compromise.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 4:52 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I wouldn't like it, and I don't think it's appropriate. However, she's only 12 years old, and is probably still dealing with the break-up. Be patient with her, but I wouldn't allow it if it makes you uncomfortable.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 6:49 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • well if she's doing it to get to you i'll be angry. but if not let it be i would like to have a pic of my parents together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

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