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why is my 19 month old son still cry when i put him to bed?

every time i lay him down it's always the same process... he will throw his fit and cry for like 15 minutes then eventually falls asleep.. he will be extremely tired too and still do it. i have tried using a fan to drown out noises , i have tried leaving a night light on to see if he was just scared of the dark, i have tried going in there and spanking and telling him "that's enough, its time for bed", i made sure that he was not thirsty or hungry before i put him to bed, and still he cries. so i just let him cry himself to sleep because i think he is being stubborn. but i am expecting my 2nd child really soon and i don't want my son waking up the new born all the time. so if there are other options i can do, please inform me.

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Asked by jessie_jra at 3:43 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (13)
  • He might need to go to bed earlier. I know it sounds like the opposite of what you'd think you'd need to do, but if he is so overtired that he can't relax, an earlier bed time might help. try 10 min earlier each day until there's not such a fight.
    If the end of his nap time is too close to bed time, that could be a problem too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • lol yeah my dd is 3 yrs old and tsill cries when is bed time. so good luck trying to tell him is time for bed. by the way i had my ds when dd was 2 yrsold and my dd cried and the baby dint wake up at all. my niece is 5 yrs old and still thorws a fit at bedtime. and the fact that you ahve a baby coming is only going to make things alot worse

    Answer by piwife at 3:47 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • At 19 months he shouldn't really still be crying it out every night. My DD does that every once in a great while when she is super exhausted, but not on a regular basis.. Do you have a regular "bed time" routine? We always start "quiet" time right after she gets out of the bath, when I get her ready for bed I usually sing (quietly) to her, put on lotion, braid her hair, etc. When we put her in bed, I give her her blanket or stuffed animal (whatever she wants), pull up the blankets and read her a quick story. Usually just having me there is a comfort to her. After we're done we do kisses and hugs and she is off to bed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • i agree with anon :48 do you ahve a bed time routine, i startedone with my dd at 2 1/2 yrs and it helped alot. she still throws a git somedays but not everyday

    Answer by piwife at 3:50 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • yeah, he "shouldn't be" but my son was doing this too. I tried all those things too. oddly enough, something that did work at least 60% of the time was talking to him, giving him 10 minute warning before Pj time..( even though we had a great regular routine at night ) then a 5 minute warning for pjs, then 2, then PJs. Then we did the brush his teeth, he got to pick out 2 books, after booktime, I laid him down and in a very excited tone, told him " you get to go to sleep like a big boy all night long, oh look, you get to sleep with your blue blanket and puppy, oh and your beaver is here too adn when you sleep ALL night long, when you wake up, mommy will be here to come and get you and you can help make pancakes" I would love on him, kiss him and say goodnight and 60-75% of the time we were actually cry free,... just from that... weird.. too simple. he's 2 and in a big boy bed and now talks to himself for 45 minutes b 4 bed

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:55 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • i do read to him every time before i lay him down too and give him enough affection such as kissing hugging, and telling him all the time i love him.

    Answer by jessie_jra at 3:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • What I mean by "he shouldn't be" is that there is probably something CAUSING it. Is he just not tired? Is he scared or worried, or stressed? That is all I meant by it.

    Jessie ira - if you're not doing bed time baths, those are really a huge help, the warm water, etc helps calm kids. We use the purple johnson bubble bath -the night time one, and it has the lavendar in it, which also helps calm them. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • thank you for your suggestions. i will try the bath before putting him to bed and see what happens.

    Answer by jessie_jra at 4:07 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • and what I meant by books and attention I more meant to focus on the talk afterwards, that is weirdly what helped him. the " you get to go to bed, sleep all night, when you wake up i will come and get you and we will make breakfast" good luck.. my son is 2 now and the past 2 months been waking again so I am battling with you.. except he is not in a crib anymore so he can get up..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:15 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • so am i suppose to give him a bath every time i lay him down? even before his afternoon nap? because he does his fit whenever i lay him down to sleep. i make sure that he is tired and not just put him down when he isn't.

    Answer by jessie_jra at 4:23 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

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