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A Question for moms of more than one :)

My husband is currently deployed, our daughter is 10 months old, my husband really wants to have another when he gets back. And I would love another little addition to our family, dd will be 22 months when he gets back, BUT I have no idea how I will juggle a newborn with my daughter, so how do you moms of more than one get through your day? How do you get your shower in the morning? How do you get to the restroom when you have a toddler and a newborn? I'm probably getting ahead of myself but I don't want to stress myself out, I'm a very anxious person and I know we will probably have another deployment in our future and I don't know if I could handle two children on my own??? Has anyone else been in this type of situation? sorry if I'm babbling. I do want another sweet baby, but how do you take care of yourself when you have more than one child to care for?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I shower right before bed. and I'm up an hour or so before everyone else in the mornings working out and just being alone.

    ummm....I'm not really sure how I make it work. lol I'm a go with the flow and just roll with whatever happens kinda mom. (drives dh nuts)

    more than one is great fun though thats for sure!

    good luck with your decision!

    Answer by hypermamaz at 4:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Mine are 14 mo. apart. Here are the things that do NOT happen:
    a shower in the morning
    going to the bathroom by yourself
    much sleeping
    a clean house (very often)

    It did get a bit easier as time went on but its always a juggling act. Mine are 3 and 4 now. I cant wait for school this fall!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • My first two are 16 months apart, and I've NEVER allowed them in the restroom with me. There is always the playpen AND the they could wait for a few minutes and it will not kill them! I refuse to have visitors while I'm taking care of my bathroom business! It's NEVER been an issue...they learn that really quick. It is hard work, but if you get on a schedule, it can be done. I've always tried to "syncronize" their nap-time so that I can also rest for a little while. Sometimes it worked out, and sometimes it didn't but usually I'd have a least 1/2 hour to relax. As for the shower thing...I'd try to take mine before they all got up, or when they took their nap, or after they went down for the night.

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 4:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I have 4 kids and another on the way. My oldest was 28 months and my son was 13 months when my 3rd child was born so I had 3 kids under 3. Some how I muddled through. My husband is usually around, though. There were a few times where he was gone for a month or more (because of work) and I was on my own and those were the roughest times. You just kind of figures out what works for your family. I have always taken showers right before bed so I never had an issue getting one (other then not having energy to take one). I REFUSE to let the kids in the bathroom with me. It's the only door that locks in the house so it's my only privacy. I never went out alone with the kids (too much hassle) so never had issues with having to use a public rest room with a bunch of babies. Mine are older now (9, 8, 7 and 3) so things are a little easier.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:06 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I usually shower at night, or while they nap if they nap together. My husband was in BMT when our second was born and our DD was 19 months old. Its really not that bad. My toddler is ALWAYS interested in things going on with the baby and can even be helpful. There is a lot of priority organizing when you have two. Of course you using that bathroom is pretty high on that list, lol, so someone might be crying for a moment while you do that. Your toddler may have to wait a little bit for you to fix her lunch because you newborn is screaming bloody murder because they are hungry, or your newborn might have to wait so you can quickly fix lunch. It just...takes...patience, but seeing them together is absolutely priceless.

    Don't forget, babies sleep a lot! My 6 month old is still sleeping a good 18 hours out of the day.

    Answer by SandraB383 at 5:37 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Oh, and I don't have one, but I wish I did - have a double stroller. Its like I cannot even go to the mall or anywhere that does not have a cart. Of course Chloe can walk, but she either walks slow (she is only 2 of course!) or she tries to stray! Also, grocery shopping...I don't know how other moms do it, but I have my infant in his carseat in the basket part of the cart and my 2 year old up in the front - this can be troublesome if you are alone and need to buy a lot of groceries (not much room left in the cart). I buy just what is necessary when I have the kids, or I go alone and have DH stay home with the babies.

    Answer by SandraB383 at 5:42 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • yes, a double stroller was an absolute must for us too! i don't always shower every day, sometimes it is every other day. i think most people take it one day at a time. if anyone offers help, let them!!! they can cook a meal, vacuum, laundry... ride with you in the car so you can run many errands, they can sit in the car for a few minutes while you run in...then you don't have to load up 2 lo's. it can take longer to load and unload than the time spent in the store!
    we have 4 with a 5th due at the end of May. our kids are 6, 4 and 2 yo twins. i wasn't left alone with all of them until the twins were 3 mos old! also, we belong to lifetime fitness and the people that take care of our kids are super awesome! i keep telling them they should open a massage room for moms to nap!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 6:00 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • you just remind yourself, over and over, that they will get older and more independent eventually

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 6:35 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I'm with anon. You are going to have to re prioritize. What becomes important is A SHOWER, not a shower in the am. You work it out. It happens, and soon you won't remember what was so difficult about having one (even though we all know it is difficult, lol).

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Well, in my case, I shower before my husband leaves or before the kids wake up.
    If I have to go to the bathroom, I go, I dont worry about who is or isnt in there with me. If my newborn was up then Id put them someplace like a bouncy seat or a blanket on the floor or their crib. If I put them in a bouncy seat then sometimes I would set that in the bathroom or just outside the door so they could hear and see me and sometimes Id do that when I showered too if I couldnt do it before the husband left.

    I just remember to breathe and take it a day at a time. Id remind myself that if they have to cry for 5 mins or less while I went potty then so be it or if they had to do that while I ran and grabbed something for the older kiddos. I made sure I did dishes daily and at least 1-2 other household chores but I never tried to do them all in the same day.

    You will do just fine as long as you focus and remember to breathe. :)

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

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