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Re: Midlife crisis not reason to make a baby

woman in her forties, big in debt and must work. I am struggling with the baby-making though (I guess to keep myself young). Please understand.

I need to find a life that suits a childless woman (and makes her happy). I live in a small town where all my friends are moms. How do I discover a new life fit for me? How do I include myself in a circle of more progressive friends (artsy types) without hurting current friends?

(I have no room in my life for a child)

Thanks in advance

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Have a baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I have no room for a child in my life. I must find another life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I would start going to art events and meeting people that you are interested in becoming friends with. As for your friends now with kids, If they are your friends, they will understand your need to meet people with common interests. I bet your friends will be supportive of you.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:13 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • If you have no children then why are you on this site? This is a site for moms and people wanting to become moms, that doesn't fit the description you gave of yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • If you have a baby there will magically be lots and lots of room in your life. Go ahead. Do it. I dare you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I am so sorry:( I struggled w/the baby thing really hard for a while(my dh and I have fertility issues).
    I now think about what would I have done w/my time,money and life/talents w/o kids. I would have had horses instead of kids and gone to school and gotten a degree in some sort of animal science. You may have to search but you'll find what you are looking for. I don't want you to be sad about this decision!((huggs))

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Travel. Travel, travel, travel. Move to a better city on a coast. Go out, be social.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Kudos to you for realizing it is not a child's job to make you happy. You know what it is, you have just denied yourself for so many years. Begin by keeping a journal of your thoughts, this will give you the insight you crave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • At your age you should be able to be-friend other women that have children that are grown ( or almost there).. How about being a forty something mom and having to relate to all the 20 and 30 somethings at your childs kindergarten class?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Work two jobs pay your debt off and move somewhere that is more geared to a single person without children. My sister is unmarried and childless and very happy. She lives in New York City has a great apartment in Manhatten and loves it. She goes to shows, clubs and many parties with her very artsy friends. She could be Samantha on Sex in the City but she is not quiet as

    I am 42 my kids are 7, 6, 5, 4 and 2. I do just fine at the school there are moms there my age. Most seem to be in their 20s and do shun us older moms but I don't need tons of friends anyway. The older moms have formed our own little breakfast club we meet at someones home and discuss books, art or whatever and we cook a really wonderful brunch together. We have a great time and the little ones have someone to play with there are 7 of us but two more older moms have asked to join us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

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