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Do you know when to walk away when you're angry?

I've read that it's good to walk away when you're angry so that you can evaluate what's really going on. Do you know when to walk away so that you can calm down and get it together without flying off the handle?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jan. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Yes, when you feel yourself getting flushed or you start yelling...it's time to walk away.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:48 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • most of the time yes - pre baby days, nope it was ON every time I go set off
    LOL
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:49 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Very important think to know if you have been raised in a home where you were hit all the time or abused. If you are really upset you can hit in reaction without thinking. You can hit so hard you could hurt your child. Shaking can be another problem.

    Deep breathing is something you can do to help get yourself under control.

    I never wanted to hit my kids. They are now adults and I almost made it. I hit my oldest son once, he was a teen and remembers he deserved it. My middle son I never hit or got upset with. My youngest has bipolar disorder and he remembers me being upset with him 4 times as a child. I was only able to do that because I was an experienced mom.

    I was a single mom and I was with my youngest 24/7. He had no contact with his father and we homeschooled. He knew to leave me alone if I walked away or if I told him to get away because I felt so angry I could hit to just do it.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:54 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Not all the time, I've yelled louder than I ever wanted to and spanked 2 times out of anger and regret them with all that I have inside.... so I use that guilt as a reminder -
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Yep- any time I can not simply let my words flow without having to calm myself, it is time to walk away. be it with my SO, my kids, my ex, etc.

    Gaill- again, I know you mean well, but you are dead wrong. I was abuse my entire life, and married into even worse abuse... I have migraines from being shaken so frequently as a child, and a of my last MRI, there found 23 significant breaks and fractures that had never received medical attention... But my reaction, regardless of how I feel, is NEVER to hit. I think that you have your own way of dealing with things, and have some issues that need to be resolved if you can say such a thing.
    I have MANY triggers, but simply hitting is NOT one of them... I understand triggers, but for the vast majority of us, that is NOT how we react.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:28 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Yes! I know when to walk away. It has taken many arguments and time to learn when to do it so that you don't say or do things out of anger. You just have to tell yourself that you have to walk away when you are in the heat of the moment.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:16 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I'm working on it... lol... I've been losing my temper a bit lately with our 2.5 year old in the middle of our epic sleep battles (often after a night waking at 3 am).. it's just so frustrating to see her go from sleeping beautifully to fighting sleep senselessly all the time... I've been really trying to stop myself... didn't know I had it in me, actually, this anger that can come out... I do better when there's daylight and I'm fully awake, although that hasn't stopped me from making the occasional absurd threat ("I'll throw away your new dvd!" in the heat of the moment)... or there was the one -- "you have two choices, lie in bed quietly, or go outside in the snow"... I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it now, but when it happens I am have to cry before I can let it go...
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:05 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Yes I pay close attention to what my inside voice is telling me when I feel myself getting angry.... Especially when I'm working. My job depends on my ability to keep some measure of calm even when I WANT to lose my mind.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • I would like to add, now that I think about it, that I do also walk away when I am angry with my DH HOWEVER...his anger response when I do that is to follow me. I even locked myself in the bathroom to get away from him once and the jerk picked the lock and opened the door. NEEDLESS TO SAY HE WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN lol.....
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2010

  • Revenge is a dish best served cold. Don't fly off the handle, think, stew, get angry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

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