I think it should make you wiser to what the signs of it are but without letting it consume you. That's the hard part. Getting cheated on or abused in any way tears away at who you are and takes years to rebuild. When things in the new relationship seem familiar to past hurt, our bodies send warning signals sometimes because it "senses" danger. That causes anxiety, and most of the time it happens so fast that we don't even realize why we feel the way we do. The best way to take control of it is write down how you're feeling. Next to that write the thoughts that are triggering your feelings. Filter through and see which ones are rational and which ones aren't. Going through this process helps with identifying the source of bad feelings and helps you control them in the future. The more you do it, the more habitual it will become. I learned that from a cognitive behavior group I was in.
at 8:56 PM on Jan. 28, 2010