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How would you cope?

Having a hard time dealing with my husband. We have two children 11 and 12 years of age. I'm also, 17 weeks prego. B4 I learned I was prego my husband had a feeling & was open to the idea. Commented it would be fun having a baby around and was not the end of the world. Once it was confirmed that I was prego he wanted me to abort. Now he says it not fair to everyone including us. However, I was too far along (15)wks. I luv this baby and can't wait. But now my husband is down right mean to me. If it's not the fat jokes, it's the u've messed up my life again an this take place every day a few x's a day. My fam knows & are very happy. He doesn't want his fam to know just yet since we live near them we havent told our kids yet. He feels we should be ashamed since we aren't done with school yet & smart couple dont mk mistake. We have good jobs, mking good money, own our home. I want to be happy w/this child, but all I can do is cry.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • He sounds like a man with a plan for the future and this just derailed his plan. He was probably as proud of his plan for his family as you are of the new baby. Give him some time to process this and regroup. It might take him some time but he will probably come around. Just assure him that whatever plans he had made can still manifest. They just will include another little person. Men are very serious about their life's timeline. I agree that he's being hurtful but he's hurting. Tell him that you two can do this together and it will still all work out well. Remind him what a good man he is and a great provider and father (stroke his ego). It's like a little boy who just got knocked down. Just help him get back up and hold his hand. He'll get back on track. I'd also tell him that his words are hurtful and unnecessary and ask him to stop. My mom used to say if you can't say anything good then don't say anything at all
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:59 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Tell him to f*ck off and stop ruining your pregnancy. WTF? He helped make the baby, right?
    EvaSerenity

    Answer by EvaSerenity at 1:07 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • That's lines foe even leaving his a**...seriously! Either he is supportive or not, and if he can't be man enough to tell his family y'all have another baby, then maybe he isn't the kind of man you need anymore in your life. what an 8ssholl
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • i would move in with my family or a friend and keep the baby safe, stress is not good while you are pregnant. you child will love you unconditionally and you both deserve better, you cannot make him love or want the baby. you need to be happy and trust that things happen for a reason. perhaps you are seeing his true nature and it is a sign. he shouldn't have sex if he is not willing to be a father. children are a blessing not a mistake. the mistake is sleeping with someone so immature.. and i am not saying that you were wrong to be with someone you love. he is wrong and he may not ever see that. take care of your child and live a happy and fulfilling life and think of how you would want your children to react in that situation.
    I think it is important to think of how a man will treat a child that he never wanted. with resentment and hate.. you should leave for a while to make sure he is committed to the family not selfish
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 8:32 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • What's done is done, and your husband should be man enough to accept that you did not become pregnant by yourself. My best advice is to ignore every comment that he makes. Let him say whatever he chooses to say, but if he ever lays a hand on you, get out immediately. It will soon be obvious to his family that you are pregnant. Then he can explain his position to them. This baby will turn out to be a great blessing to you, and you should protect it as the gift that it is.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:52 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Your husband needs to grow up, step up and take responsibility for his actions and get over it! You did not create this baby by yourself, and you certainly did not do it to 'mess up his life again'. That comment makes me wonder how he sees your other 2 children and treats them. I would tell him flat out that he better knock it off, or you will tell his family YOUR side before you pack up and take the kids with you to live with your family--- and leave him to explain to his family why his pregnant wife and kids left. I would then sic a divorce lawyer on him for full custody and child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on Jan. 29, 2010