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need help writing my boyfriend a dear jon letterplz no bashing

ok here is my story 2 years ago i moved 3 hours from my family gave up my job at a hospital my friends and my apartment at the time i felt was worth it well after awhile he started hitting me throwing beer bottles at me when i was 6 weeks pregnant he pushed me to the floor and i thought for sure i was losing my baby went to the ER told me it was a threatend miscarry. well he chilled out for awhile then 7 months pregnant he hit me over an over till he busted side of my head. well after that thing were really good we moved he got a job etc baby was born by c-section the night i had my surg he got mad at his dad and was yelling at me jus 4 hours out of surg,ok next day nurse came in said try an walk some get up easy so i dont pull my staples my b/f yells at me to get him the babys binki but the nurse jus said take it easy getting out of bed. well we came home he was ok for about a month then we got in a fight cuz i found

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:13 AM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • CONT: i found nakid pics of a girl from his school on his cell phone he claims it was nothingbut she emailed me told me she slept with him in my van which there was muddy foot prints from the front to the bad of my van he says they was from him an his friends then WHY go from the front to back when there is side doors???.... he use to go out an dink alnight so i know something is going on or was...he keeps getting text messages from random girls he says there for tatto's cuz he is a tatto artist..but my son is now 10 weeks and im ready to leave i want to write a letter he will never forget i hate him so much do u think i'm doing the right thing?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • leaving is the right thing. writing a letter isn't. you need to just leave before he hurts that baby by accident or on purpose. be strong for baby and for you! just leave! GL
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:24 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • ofcourse!!! What gets to me is that you sound most upset about finding the naked pics and text messeges than him bashing your head open. Why are we so stupid! Forget the Dear John letter...what you should do is press charges, file a police report. what i am trying to say, keep a paper trail of all incidents because when push comes to shove, he might take you to court for custody of your baby and if there is no prior complaints than it is your word against his...please, there are many agencys that provide shelter for battered women and their children. Don't become a statistic. Don't believe that he will change...you decide...how long do you want to continue being the victim?
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 5:25 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • think about this very clearly...because I believe that you will chose to write the letter. If you do write the letter...make sure that someone other than yourself, hands it to him..make sure that you are far, far, away. Imagine him busting your head open to the point that he kills you. if you survive, you might be disabled..
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 5:29 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • i am leaving tuesday i have some one picking me up while he is at work i plan to leave the letter here for him so when he gets home its here...he is a good father just not good enough to raise him in this house to much drama . i have been keep paper trails even took pictures and dated them etc...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • my dad was the same way to my mom and ended up hitting the kids too.. how can you know for sure he wont hit your child.. you don't ,, i am so glad you are leaving, i wish my mom would.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I would be happy to help you write that letter, but I need to know what you want it to say. In fact, you tell me what you want it to say, and I will write it for you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:45 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • How about a little anthrax in that letter? I think so...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Honestly, in your situation, here's what you write - note, I'm not addressing it with a "Dear"...

    John,

    I am no longer going to accept or allow you to abuse me, or put me or my child at risk. You know that your temper is out of control, and if not, I hope you figure it out before you end up doing permanent damage to someone. Either way, I hope you get help for it, and lead a more healthy life. Whether you do or not though, it will be without me. Any attempts by you to contact me or my loved ones in ANY way will result in me going to the police. I am also mailing a copy of this letter to various friends and family, with instructions to not open it, to hold for me to take to the police if needed, just in case you decide to try to hurt me ever again.

    Have a nice life.
    Your name.

    Then, do NOT give it to him. MAIL it to him - certified if you can, using his own address as the return address. Mail copies to family.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:36 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • He's a self centered jerk and doesn't deserve the courtesy of a letter. I might leave a post it saying "Bye". Why go from front to back when you have side doors? Well, bc they started out in the front and started getting naked and it would draw attention if they got out and used the side doors! He's an idiot. I'm glad you have had enough and are leaving. Good choice
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:42 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

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