Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What Would you do?Please tell me Why or Why not(SIL babysitting Q?)

Okay,first of all I am asking this because I seriously need some oppnions. My SIL has asked me (been hinting) everytime I see her about wanting me to sit w/my nephew a bit during the week. I am a sahm,I don't have a problem w/the idea of spending some ime w/my nephew,I am worried about my sil. She and I are like oil and water. I have been using avoidance because I am afraid to say almost anything to her since she make something out of nothing. She and my brother have had a very rocky relationship and I am scared of being around for any,fall out or what not, kwim??? I know the question is coming of~when do I want to start sitting w/baby??? Is coming but I almost have already said yes. Should I do this or not. What Would you do???? Thanks in advance;)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Jan. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I know this sounds bad, but if you are going to be watching her kid there probably wont be much conflict. If you are the one watching her kid then she needs you and will try not to have conflict in order to keep you around...ya know? thats how people are they are as long as you do what she wants you wont have to fight with her,,

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Hmm that is a tough one. I think what I would do if I was in your situation is agree to babysitting your nephew. If a fall out should happen, tell them you're leaving, or ask them if they could take it elsewhere. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells for anybody. Her touchiness is her problem, not yours. If you do watch your nephew, make sure to be firm with her so that she doesn't try to walk all over you. Good luck with your decision hun. I know how that could be an awkward situation, but at least you'd know your nephew is in good hands if he's with you.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 10:18 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Well, if you already know what kid of person she is and you're already kinda iffy around her, think about how it will be if you are watching her child. And think about this... How much will she critique the way you care for her child? Is she going to be examining every little thing closely and making comments? If she does anything like this, I'd seriously consider saying no to her and just give the reson of you think it would strain your relationship, if she asks, because it will!

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 10:21 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I think the problem is going to be you will get dumped on. She may not pick him up on time, she prob wont pay and when it all falls apart she wont appreciate all the work you put in. On the other hand if you anticipate this/or dont expect money or care how long he is there and just use it as a time to bond with your nephew then it could be ok. If i were you i would limit it to a set amount of days. tell her you would love to watch him tues and thurs and set some boundaries from the beginning. Try to email the boundaries so you will have them in writing later to fall back on.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:23 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Personally, I wouldn't do it. More than likely she's going to be unreliable when it comes to drop of and/or pick up times. She may dump your nephew on you more than you are truly willing to keep him. She probably won't supply you with enough diapers, formula, babyfood, clothes, etc. because "well, you have that stuff, don't you?". She may be overly critical or demanding about how you interact with & take care of her kid. She may become jealous if your nephew ends up preferring you to her (which is a distinct possibility if she happens to be a crappy mom. I know, I've been there, and it wasn't pretty when the other mom got jealous). And as far as your DH's & SIL's strained relationship, that may get worse b/c if your SIL starts taking advantage or any of the other stuff mentioned, he's probably not going to take it well, kwim? Of course, there is always the outside chance your relationship w/her may improve, too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.