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I'm a good stepmom.. but I'm having a hard time dealing with some things right now..

I hate to ask this question because I know I'll get a ton of people telling me that I'm not mature and blah blah. Anyways, My SS is almost 9 years old. We used to be so very close and I have been in his life since he was 4. He's an entirely different kid now. Must be getting to that age, but he constantly has a smart mouth to the point of getting smart with my parents and my in laws. I can't take him to any store at all because he throws fits like a 2 year old. The screaming kicking, stomping.. All that. I've tried everything to punishing for everything to giving him his way about everything and nothing seems to work. He's getting worse and worse and since my husband works nearly all weekend, I'm the only one to deal with him. I'm only off Sat and Sun and I'm starting to HATE every time he comes. What can I do? I love him and my husband and don't want to end it but I can't control this child anymore and I dread weekends.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • Just calmly ask the child what's up and what you can do to make him behave. I did that to my son one time and he just looked at me like I was nuts but after that we talked about things without the drama of tantrums. I had no problem saying to my children, "I have no clue what you want from me right now. So you have to tell me." This lets them know you are aware there is a problem and you are validating their feelings and want to help solve the problem. Allowing them be a part of the solution helps them transition into growing up. You shouldn't dread weekends in your own home.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:11 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like there is more gong on w/him than your average 9yr old. Does his mom have problems during the week? Is he having trouble in school?? Your dh may have to take a couple days off work some weekend to help deal w/this. I have two bio kids w/behavior problems~ADHD/Conduct disorder. It's hard enough when you know what your dealing with. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • My thought is something is going on with him. Maybe something at school or at home.. This is a new behavior for him right, so I don't think it has anything to do with you and dad.. Dad works all weekend, is this new, does mom have a new BF or baby, or do you have a new baby or pregnant? It really could be anything, I agree with admckenzie, he is old enough to express his feelings and needs, ask him what's up...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:23 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I agree with some of the other posts- I'd talk to your husband about getting him checked to see if there is something like ADD going on.
    I understand about kicking and screaming and all that, but if you don't give him his way, how long does it last?Not to sound mean, but Is there a reason why you can't let him have his fits and let it all out? My niece was like this for a while. She finally told me that if she did that with Mommy, then she'd get a treat or get to do what she wanted. My husband and I told her it's OK to feel how you feel, but kicking and screaming doesn't equal getting what you want. I had a brother that could throw fits for literally hours. even he eventually wore out and worked through it.
    if the screaming is bad, have you considered using a mp3 player? you could still keep a eye on him during that time to make sure he was OK-
    Just a suggestion- hope it all works out.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • not to be negative but its the age and it doesnt get better you need to find a way for both u and your hubby to deal with it. and do it now before he gets bigger

    Answer by wubbunny420 at 6:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • Yeah, it either its that horrible stage beginning, or theres something going on with him . try to find out what it might be. and ask your husband to help you out with him, in finding out what wrong. and both of you try to help him out with it, gl;)

    Answer by incarnita at 11:24 AM on Feb. 3, 2010

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