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How could he do this to me?

He faked being in love for over a year in my eyes because he admitted that he loves someone else out of nowhere. Why did he lead me on? I have a baby by him that will be born any day now. Why did he wait till now and lie and say we were getting married? Instead of staying with the one he really wants. Now that she doesn't want him he is crazy about her.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • That's just how men work. I have a sister that had to be on bedrest for alot of months, and she found out after she had the baby that he was talk to a phone sex aporater. And shortly that he said that he thought he made a mistake, and that he still loved his ex wife. Mind you, this was there second kid, and they had been married for three years or so. Men do things when a big change is coming. He might just be scared and trying to find a way out of the "mess". Men see babies like a piece of rope...they may love you...but the thought of being "tied up" scares them. I would just give it time...he might come around. I can't see a man staying around for a year if he didn't feel something

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 2:23 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • He was enjoying the free sex with no strings attached. The baby changes all of that. Now there might be some responsibility involved and that's not what he wants. There were probably signs that he wasn't in it for the long haul, but once you become sexually involved with a man, your good sense kind of gets cloudy. That's a good reason women should wait until they are married to have sex with a man. If he asks you to marry him and you've never had sex with him, that's a pretty good indication that he loves you for who you are and wants to be with you forever. These other dudes promise to love you if you give them sex, but they most of the time are just playing games with you. They have absolutely nothing to lose. It's the woman who always feels the obligation of the child that results. It's not too late to consider putting the baby up for adoption and waiting for a man who will love and care for you and your babies.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:31 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I agree with half of what nannyB said about waiting to have sex. But the other half about giving up the baby for adoption is INSANE. Would you give up YOUR baby? I don't think so. OP,You keep your baby right in your arms even if you have to raise him/her by yourself you can do it. My husband was raised by a single mom of 5. He turned out great. He has a masters degree in Engineering and all of his brothers and sisters went to college also. The man your with sounds a bit shady. I think maybe you should separate for a while being that you are pregnant, you have to take care of yourself. Dont let him stress you and your baby out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • "I agree with half of what nannyB said about waiting to have sex. But the other half about giving up the baby for adoption is INSANE. Would you give up YOUR baby? I don't think so."

    Hell yes, I would. If I wasn't in a position to care for that child? HELL YES. Because a true mom does the best for her child, no matter what the personal or emotional cost to herself.

    Blood means NOTHING.

    But do consider the source: I am an adoptee. I have NO complaints about benefits a lot of children.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I hope you are still not with him?

    Answer by louise2 at 6:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • well, if you were to place baby up for adoption let me adopt him/her- really! :)
    either way, he may not have faked being in love with you when it all started. but men can be mixed up a lot of the times, some most of the time. Don't blame yourself. I know it's hard, but please try not to.
    You could probably ask yourself 'why' for years and never know.
    At this point, I would do all you could to take care of yourself and the baby- if you are going to keep the baby, I'd talk to a lawyer about your rights for child support and what not.
    feel free to private message me if you would like-
    take care of yourself- it's important!

    I hope things go well for you- no man equals the end of the world no matter how it seems right now.
    do things to keep you busy and your mind off of this the best you can-
    best to you-


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:47 PM on Jan. 29, 2010