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What do I do about the relationship with my mil do I even try to change it?

Me and my mil have a wierd relationship . When me and her son first got together she tried to be all nice nice . then after we got married I saw her true colors when we had to live with her for a short time she turnd into a crazy person she would want us to shut the kids up in the room are put them outside so she could sleep till one o' clock. She would try to put me and my h agianst each other saying I was not doing my share around the house when I was . We had to walk on eggshells . She got mad and pushed me and I did nothing and said nothing and walked away . So now we are living on are own agian and she calls to talk to my husband and ask to talk to me when she gets on the phone she ask me are you to good to talk to me and I tell her no . Its I just choose not to talk to her to avoid issues I am NOT her BIGGEST FAN. So should I try are should I JUST CONTINUE TO AVOID TALKING TO HER.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • OK, I don't say this much, but sounds like this woman has some problems. I think it's best to just do all you can to be as nice to her as you can. If you can't let your husband deal with her.
    If it's as bad as you are saying, then I think it's her problem-
    side note- is this new behavior for her? does she have friends that you can ask if it's new? if it is new behavior then I'd talk to your husband about her seeing a doctor. It could be a sign of a medical problem. That whole pushing thing worries me-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Use the caller ID, have your husband pick up. Tell him that if she askes you are busy (with the kids or something) If she comes right out and asks if you are too good to even speak to her just say that you haven't gotten over some of the bad feelings from when you lived with her and you would rather not say anything you would regret. Let your husband handle her. She might have a medical problem, but even if she does, let your husband handle her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Be honest about your feelings. Don't sugar coat. She needs to know that she's in the wrong. She probably won't like it but tough.

    Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • What you need to do is stand up for yourself, now.... It doesn't matter if she wants what she wants, tough shit.... You are a person... Just b/c she's your DH mother, doesn't give her extra rights to anything/one....Mine tried this crap... No one runs me/home... You need to tell her to her face the next time she says/pulls something that upsets you... Sooner the better.... This can go on for a long time... Take off the "kid gloves" & tell her off.... Trust me, it will take a long time before she thinks about saying anything again.... Take Care, Donna....
    dobrd

    Answer by dobrd at 6:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • if you know she doesn't like you and is trying to instigate you into a fight. Just refuse to answer the phone or get the phone if your husband hands it to you. She should know why and no one should make you feel like you have to go with the flow due to who she is. She shouldn't want to talk to you either if she doesn't like you. That needs to be addressed.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 7:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • From what I understand she has always been this way , but i have been taught to respect my elders so I dont say anything are just walk away. I am the same way with her daughters I choose not to speek to them because of way they have acted twards me in the past calling me names and threatening to beat me up for no reason for the simple fact that they are crazy my husband and dont call are go over there that much cause of the way she acts and when she calls over here wanting to know why he tells her its because he works to much and cant find the time ( befor when this happened she got mad so when my h called to tell her we was having another baby she aked him was it his I heard and would not talk to her at all she asked me why and I told her I heard what you said she said I only said that because I was mad that you were not bringing my grandbabies to see me but at the time we only had one car and it was not great
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

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