Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why is it anyone's dang business how we grow our family??

I'm so sick of this. It seems like you can't win for losing around here.

If your having fertility treaments to get pregnant you get told your being irresponsible and that you should adopt a child instead of forcing a pregnancy. If your planning to adopt you better not doing it internationally because God forbid the child not come from your home country. Don't ask me what the hell a couple from 2 different countries are supposed to do.

Then if you do adopt domestically your being to picky by only accepting American children. If you adopt a child that has handicaps your taking on to much and if you adopt a baby your being selfish for not taking a "hard to adopt" child.


This journey is hard enough. Why do people think it's any of there business?

I'm sorry. I'm just looking for answers I guess. It's been a bad day.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (23)
  • Do you mean this happens specifically on Cafemom or in "real life"?

    Answer by BJoan at 6:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • both but the most recent issue was here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • A couple has to go about having a family the way that they feel is best for them.
    I know the realities of it,I had my kids through invitro/CSI. That was just they way we did it. Some ppl feel comfortable w/different ways of going about it. I guess that bottom line is,you simply have to over look the ppl that it all comes so easy to and do what is best for you! PPl who have just had parenthood happen to them can never imagine the struggle and pressures of making these family building decisions. God Bless you in your journey!

    Answer by momthruivf at 6:18 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • running into the same opinions from people when I discussed surrogacy. Apparently I am a money hungry b!tch, who doesn't deserve my own children if I am willing (if not eager) to gestate a child for someone else- not to mention one that is not even genetically mine!!!

    I do not understand it either, but more power to you for going that route. A couple of my best friends were adopted. I have seen some very loving families, and then some that should NEVER have adopted.
    Be a duck, let the bs roll off like water.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:20 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I give my opinions on cafemom and in real life if it comes up. You do what you want you want about adoption. Don't let our opinions effect your decisions.Hope you feel better soon:)


    Answer by louise2 at 6:28 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • What matters most is what is in your heart. You do what you feel is best for you and your family. You cannot live your life to please others. Everyone has different opionions on adoption. Love builds a family and honestly the way you build your family is up to you, not anyone else. Don't allow comments to discourage you and what you know in your heart is meant to be. Follow your heart and keep strong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • If it bothers you so much what a bunch of strangers on the net think perhaps you shouldn't put your personal business out there. Just sayin'....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Ok, I am one of the "older" moms. I have learned over the years that my family will grow, live, love and play my way. If I were to worry about every little thing I would have to live in a green house, odds are made from bricks from mud I dug up myself, and replaced with organic material and grow my own organic veggies, and I should home school my children, and no matter what church I choose to go to would be wrong and my children would never be in car seats because cars are not environmentally friendly but if for some horrible reason we were in a car they would be rear facing til they were 10 years old and we would never eat sugar or gain an ounce of fat and get married to our soul mate, male, female.. nuts, thats wrong too.

    Guess the point is you will NEVER EVER EVER please everyone. Do what works for you. It's ok to tell people if they feel that way they are free to make a choice different from yours and walk away.

    Answer by 7babies4me at 8:11 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Some on here feel the only choice you should have is to abort or not to abort. I would ignore the morons who have no clue and do what is best for your family. The haters are bitter people with no lives.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Because people suck sometimes. HUGS and blessings on your adoption journey.

    Answer by DaphneMae at 8:59 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.