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Do you think he felt like I abandoned him?

I am taking car of an 18month old. he's in foster care. Well the social worker came and pick him up to have a visit with his bio family..... ever since he got back every time i move he cries he always wants to be held and he wasnt like this before. I can be sitting on the sofa and he's playing if i get up to check on my food on the stove 10 feet away he starts screaming and running to me.... do you think he felt abandoned when i left him with the worker or is this just a phase he's going through?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • He's fine. Separation anxiety can occur in children that age if you are a parent or a babysitter or anyone who becomes close to them. He's bonding with you and with new people coming into his life he's not as secure. He must feel safe with you. You are doing a good job.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:12 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • oh i have no idea but thats so sad. i hope someone can help you with an answer!

    Answer by snoober_k at 8:46 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like a bit of seperation anxiety. It has to be so hard for the little guy,that is so sad.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • He may not have had a pleasant experience with the dad.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • i dont know how long he has been with you, but i would think seperation anxiety. although my 19 month old goes through days where she is like that with me. and as mommymeg said its possible it wasn;t a good visit with his biological family. i hope things go better for him in the future. and hopefully it will get easier for you as well.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • i thought maybe he was just having a rough day! but this has been since last thursday and hes still being super clingy.... the worker said the visit went good but i dont know.... its just strange how he just started acting like this...... he's been with me for a year!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Maybe you can tell him that it is OK, you are just going to go do something and come right back. Give him a hug and something to keep him occupied. Good luck to you both. It is nice you are fostering parenting him. God Bless You for your efforts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Has the baby been visiting the biological family all along? If this baby has been with you for over a year is there any hopes of adoption? The bond that has been formed is with you, especially for one year.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • 18 months is usually right in the thick of the worst of separation anxiety. You're #1 caretaker, so being away from you is like physical pain to him. Every kid goes through it (well, except those that grow up to have serious mental disorders, so all-in-all it's a really good thing! lol).

    Answer by Avarah at 9:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • A year. You're his 'Mommy" He has no memory of his bio family. They were strangers. I hope you don't lose him for his sake. Breaking that bond can be critical to mental health later. If they are working towards unification with the Bio family you need pics of them for him to start talking about them, everyday. We had our grandson for a year before he was reunified with bio Mom..what a disaster. They were permanently taken away 5 weeks later and we got him back. It took months to get him back to feeling 'safe' again. Good luck to you.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:50 PM on Jan. 29, 2010