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If you became pregnant as a teen (whether you chose to parent or give the baby up for adoption) what advise would you give an expecting teen?

If you gave your baby up for adoption...would you do it again if you knew then what you know now?

If you decided to parent would you make the same choice if you knew then what you know now?

Also what baby items would you consider 100% necessary if you decided to parent?

I've been working 2 jobs since I was 2 months pregnant but my mom is charging me rent (since she found out I'm pregnant. If I give the baby up I don't have to pay anymore) plus I have to pay my part of the medical expenses. My baby's father pays the other half. Long story short...I'm limited on funds so I want to get the basics before wants if I decide to keep my baby.

I just want what's best for the baby. I just haven't figured out what that is yet.

Any advise would be helpful but please be nice. I know I'm young but I'm trying to be as responsible as possible.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • I wasnt a tten mom - but I just wanted to tell you good for you for being responsible and trying to figure out what is best for your baby. Which ever it is much props to you!!

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I worked with a teen parenting program through social services and they had a lot to offer teen moms.I would advise you to really look into the resources in your area that might be able to help you on your journey. This program I was involed with basically connected teens to resources such as WIC, housing, college prep, transportation, and we had a 'baby barn' for teens to come pick out donated baby clothes/items for free when they needed them.We actually physically met with the teens at their school once a week to ask them what issues they were struggling with and we spoke with teachers to help keep them in school.We were the support that the teens weren't getting from family or from the baby's father.It was called the Adolescent Parenting Program.Look online on your local social services website to see if there is something similar where you are.I would also encourage you to ask for help and don't ever feel like you are

    Answer by kenzie07 at 9:00 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I agree with PP, You are being responsible and this is great. Don't make anyone feel like you have to put your baby up for adoption unless that is something that you feel is best for your child. I've heard of tough love, but your mom charging you rent because you are pregnant is just a little too much in my opinion. It sounds like she is trying to make it harder on you financially so that you understand the financial responsibility of having a baby and want to put it up for adoption. It is very very hard to let your baby go, so I wouldn't make that judgement call for you. I was 19 when I got pregnant and it was very hard to make it financially, but our parents helped us out until we could get on our feet. I hope everything goes well for you and good luck on your decision.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:02 PM on Jan. 29, 2010


    Answer by piwife at 9:02 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • alone...There is always an alternative to drastic measures. If things get hairy, talk to a counselor who may be able to help you process some frustration that you're experiencing. Its gonna be tough at your age, but you're not the first and there are most likely other teen moms that you can offer you comfort and support. Just know that you can stay in school, get housing, go to college, and provide a future for your baby if you truly have the drive to do it. All the best hon!

    Answer by kenzie07 at 9:05 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • do you want to keep it? what kind of relationship do you have with the father? i've seen teen moms where i live. its hard. very hard for them. they work a lot of hours, but they kept their babies and most of them dropped out and some got their GED. if you drop out make sure you get your GED! i personally would find it hard to give up my baby. but dont feel obligated by any means, do what you feel is right .

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks before graduation. I finished high school and had my son. My babys father said he loved me and would be there but by the time he was born he was long gone. I lost all my friends but one. The parents didn't want them near me. Like I was contagious or a bad influence. My mom told me abort or leave. So I moved out with basically nothing but some clothes. I was on state assistance until my son was 1. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I really thought about suicide everyday. Keeping him was so hard. Never enough money, tired all the time and I didn't have any support. from family. I decided the life I was giving him would never be what he deserved. I put him up for adoption. I miss him everyday. It's been 8 years now. I know I couldn't keep him and do right by him. The worst part was after I gave him up my Mother called me terrible names and hasn't spoken to me since. No way to win.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Wow anon:14 I really hope you can find someone to talk to. Some counseling maybe. To the OP: You sound like your head is screwed on pretty straight. Whatever you decide just know it will be harder than you ever believed possible. That doesn't mean you can't do it..just that it is very hard. I commend you on trying to make responsible decisions. As others have said finish school no matter what. Necessities..a place for the baby to sleep. It doesn't have to be a crib..a good pack and play will do. You will need diapers, blankets, sleepers. Don't buy too much newborn stuff they outgrow it so fast. A stroller or a sling are pretty important too. At least I thought so. Putting a baby up for adoption is harder than keeping them, emotionally anyway. I got pregnant at 15. My Dad forced me to sign the papers. I didn't want to but I had no choices back in those days. My little girl is now grown. I hope someday she looks for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • I was 19yrs old when my DD was born...... She is now 7yrs old... And the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 9:30 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • the bare minimum you need: diapers, wipes, clothing, blankets and a car seat. A baby bed is nice- but not necessary (a lot of people co sleep). You can save a TON of money by breastfeeding, but it can be very difficult at first. Look on craigs list and at garage sales for gently used and innexpensive baby items. Also, check into all government assistance programs. I would imagine that you can find state funding to pay for your half of the birthing expenses. Also, there might be subsidised day care and housing that may be available to you (so you don't have to live with your mother if you would rather not).

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

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