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Would you be able to forgive?

Would you be able to forgive your DH? And if so, how?
Because IDK how to :(

(Sorry, I couldn't fit the whole thing here.)
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read.php?post_id=1571510&posted=1

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Jan. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Yes, I do think I would be able to forgive him. Although he was not as by your side as you wanted him to be, he was there with you. I know you felt ignored and I'm not saying that what he did was the thing to do, but yes I would forgive him. There are a lot worse things that husbands do. Inconsiderate, but not the worst thing in the world. I'm sorry about what you went through.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 9:34 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • Read and answered on your journal. You're living proof of why docs don't treat family members...because things like this can happen.

    Somewhere in there, you need to find the way to forgive. Because you were also correct...in the grand equation this is not a huge deal. I'd have had much more trouble had you written that he'd gone drinking during your labor.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:32 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • He was there. he just didn't act as you expected him to act. My hubby is horrible in those types of situations too. Although he is there physically he isn't really there emotionally. Yes, I would forgive him but I would also kindly let him know how let down he made you feel.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:02 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • ha! I'm sorry but this made me laugh a little. It seems your husband probably didn't really know what to do. The labor part is something the women ultimately has to do on her own. I think he was there for you as much as he NEW how to be and you should just not take anything else he did to heart. Alot of times when a guy is scared or does not know what to do, they will not help or participate... cuz they don't like being so helpless. On another note if it was me I would have been ecstatic that he wasn't around much. When I'm in pain I want to be left ALONE!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 11:09 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • OP here:
    DH & I have talked about it, but he just emotionally shuts down. He mentioned once that he was afraid that I would hate the baby because I was so depressed during the pregnancy. That's the only thing I can think of as to why he would have done this... he won't say anything else.
    We had talked about the birth a TON, & we agreed on everything. We made the plan, took the Bradley class together, practiced together... everything. He was totally on board. That's why I don't understand why he abandoned me. Not to be rude, but if he wasn't on board, I would have found someone who was on board to be my labor coach :-/
    (cont. below)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

  • (OP cont. from above)
    I don't think it has to do with the fact that "doctors shouldn't treat their own"... He has 2 other children, and he was completely there for both of their mothers while they were in labor. The 1st child he delivered as a corpsman was my SS! And he has done other medical-type stuff with family as well. That was one of the 1st things I wondered too, but it just doesn't seem to fit.

    I keep saying that my DD is all that matters, but it's not... I am usually one of those people who is very independent & self-sufficient. I try not to rely on anyone, especially emotionally, because I have been so hurt in the past. So the fact that I finally let someone in that deep only to have him abandon me when I needed him the most is a huge deal to me. I haven't wanted to have sex with my husband for almost 2 years because of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Jan. 29, 2010

Next question in Relationships
what do I do?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
WHY??? UGH!

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