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What do i do?

so my husband and i have been fighting alot lately. he came home the other day and caught me in bed with one of his friends. he got really mad and took the guy outside and fought him. afterwrds i told my husband to just leave he did but i was drunk and told the other guy to come back inside. my husband beat him pretty bad. the cops were not called that night but the guy filed a police report the next day now my husbands facing assault charges but he was defending himself because the guy i cheated with swung first. i dont know what to do on that part. the other part is that the next day my husband almost damn near forgave me. he told me he loved me and doesnt want us to end. i dont know why i did this to him. the person in question told me some really mean things about my husband like he cheats on me and hates our daughter and does'nt love me or want to be with me. it was all a lie. what do i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Jan. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • maybe the other guy told u stuff just to get in your pants....i would sit down with husband and talk to him tell him what was said and how u felt and give him a reason why u did it. i can understand why your dh hit this man it has to be a shock to come home and see his wife in bed with a friend. it was wrong on your part. if u did it because this friend said he cheats what u shouldve done is just confronted your dh. as for your delema i would just talk to dh and see if he can forgive u and work things out. and take small steps to mend what was broken. this other guy sounds like a jack ass, drunk or not u shouldve thought first before u did that. wha if dh never cheated...u look like the jerk. if anything u need to take a breather and see if husband is the one u want..and if its worth working out. the reason for assult is understandable, i know my dh would do that and if it was me i would do that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • also just a feeling i have but maybe man # 2 is hopeing dh would go to jail so he can swoop in on u.i have a feeling about the friend and to me feels like he would do anything to ruin u and dh. and thats not a nice guy or friend...good luck..

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Doesn't sound like you are happy with your husband..if all you do is fight and you end up seeking comfort in another mans arms, then why take your husband back even if he forgives you? When you and your husband fight is there respect and kindness involved? Do you listen to each other and work together to solve problems? If it isn't a healthy relationship and there's no hope of that then just get out, be free, sounds like thats what you may really want...women don't just go out and cheat unless their life is really shitty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • Wow life is crazy! I feel bad that the two of you had to get to this point! Why on earth would you take words from another mans lips over your own husbands? Don't you respect your husband enough to ask him strait out before you did what you did? I think the only thing to do at this point is couples counciling and to be completely HONEST! It can't get much worse than you getting cought cheeting on your husband by your husband and him looking at charges because of your stupid behavior.I hope you both learn something other wise the whole thing happend for notta!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • We do argue but rarely yell normaly when we get mad with one another he just leaves for the night and goes to his friends house. i feel so bad about the whole thing. i dont know how he can forgive me. the sad part is that everytime i close my eyes i can still see the hurt and anger and overwhelming look on his face. how do i make this up to him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • They are grown men. Let them settle that between them. Then you sit down with dh and talk with him. It's possible the other dude told you stuff just to get in your pants. It's also possible what was said was truth. If so, you both need to work on patching things up and working on the marriage.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:26 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • p.s. in many cases when both fight they both get arrested. This should be interesting to hear how it turns out in court.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:29 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • whats dh??

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • well i know for sure hes not i asked everyone about it they all said he has never chezted i checked phone records and he gave me all his passwords and from at lest what i can tell hes been faithful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

  • throwing up


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Jan. 30, 2010

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